It leaves one in either speechless, or completely dumbfounded. How can their mothers/wives/girlfriends make them go out in public like that?
I am talking of the ‘fashion statements’ our professional rugby players are making of course, and specifically, hairstyles.
Simnikiwe Xabanisa has picked his top 10 of the most laughable, or shameful, hairstyles of this years Super 14. Feel free to add your favourite favourite.
GERHARD VOSLOO (Cats)
Anything David Beckham peddles, including the now-defunct mohican, has no place on a rugby field, let alone on an openside flanker’s head.
GRANT ESTERHUIZEN (Cats)
There’s a faint whiff of struggling porn star in the ponytailed manner in which Esterhuizen wears his hair nowadays.
MATT HENJAK (Force)
About the only thing that outstrips old Handbags’ silly behaviour off the pitch is the hair on his head. How can anyone be stupid enough to turn up on a rugby field looking like a peacock, what with those twin yellow streaks and beetroot patch on his head?
COBUS GROBLER (Cheetahs)
Nicknamed Varkhond, he looks more like an Angora goat.
SIONE LAUAKI (Chiefs)
The 1.92m, 118kg frame is enough of a giveaway for his destructive power — trying to appear cute and cuddly by tying his dreadlocks in pigtails just won’t hack it.
SOSENE ANESI (Chiefs)
Will this one-man Kevin Pietersen fan club also adopt the English cricketer’s current skinhead haircut?
JERRY COLLINS (Hurricanes)
Somebody once suggested that Jeza’s blond top made him look like a potent pint of Guinness. We suspect that’s why teammate Lome Fa’atau started the fight in the Bloemfontein nightclub.
RODNEY BLAKE (Reds)
Seeing that he is reputed to be the biggest man in Australian rugby (he weighs over 130kg), we suppose his barber did not have the gumption to tell him the mullet hasn’t been hip in about two decades.
LLOYD JOHANSSON (Reds)
Johansson scored with his second touch in international rugby against New Zealand during last year’s Tri-Nations, so he went and got himself an electric zigzag mohawk. He hasn’t scored since.
PHIL WAUGH (Waratahs)
Just because the openside flanker does his best work in the relative cave of rugby doesn’t mean he should look like a caveman.