Roller-coaster… of life


The emotional roller-coaster ride of the Currie Cup Final we, the supporters, went on, and the big-dipper of the EOYT squad selection begs the question, if we experience such highs and lows: “What happens in the minds of the players??

Saturday had lots of us emotionally ‘drained’; the subsequent EOYT Springbok Team selection had lots of us, on a high and a low for selected and non-selected players. For three days the emotions have been flowing thick and fast here on RuggaWorld. Teams have been selected, dissected and re-elected, arguments for and against have at times been viciously stated, even personal attacks have been launched.

Nobody can say the experiences we had and the exchanges we made were not emotional. Some may argue the experiences and exchanges were Emotionally Intelligent, and others that Intelligent Emotions were nowhere to be found. The Brand explores the ‘frames of mind’ of us – the supporters, coaches and players – when we have our ‘emotions’ and when our ‘emotions’ have us. Everybody is included on a daily basis – up and down, momentary and ‘permanent’.

So how did our coaches and players experience Saturday’s draw of the Currie Cup Final?

Beeld, Monday 16 October 2006, Pote Human coach of Blue Bulls on the CC-Final draw: “We are not crying, but we are not happy either.?

The Star, Monday 16 October 2006, Rassie Erasmus coach of the Cheetahs on the CC-Final draw: “The positive thing is that three years ago you wouldn’t have said we would win the Currie Cup.?

The Citizen, Monday 16 October 2006, Rassie Erasmus coach of the Cheetahs on the CC-Final draw: “But three years ago it would have unimaginable to say we are disappointed to share the Currie Cup.?

The Star, Monday 16 October 2006, Wikus van Heerden captain of the Golden Lions on the draw: “While there will be disappointment among the players they didn’t win, there will also be satisfaction they didn’t lose. The players gave absolutely everything for their sides and neither can claim they should have won.?

How did the players and coaches experienced Saturday’s EOYT Springbok selections?

The Citizen, Monday 16 October 2006, Rassie Erasmus coach of the Cheetahs: “I’ll never criticize the selection of another coach, who selects players that he has work with and has to back himself.?

The Star, Monday 16 October 2006, Jaco Pretorius on being selected for the Springboks for the first time: “It feels wonderful . . . very over whelming. I hardly slept last night and had dreams of scoring a try for South Africa. I lay in bed yesterday morning still full of emotion and I suppose it’ll take a few days to absorb.?

Beeld, Monday 16 October 2006, Jaco Pretorius on being selected for the Springboks for the first time: “Please excuse the tears. I am a very emotional person and player. I do not have the words to explain how I am feeling.?

Beeld, Monday 16 October 2006, Frans Steyn a 19 year old being selected for the Springboks: “I would never in my life have thought that I’d be chosen for the Bokke at this stage.? “I do not know if I am in the clouds or on earth. I actually don’t know where I am. I am shocked.?

And we thought we were on an emotional roller-coaster ride with the big-dipper thrown in for fun!

For the professional sportsman everyday, every week and every season is like this. Compare their ‘work’ to your own – imagine that just participating in your profession may, every moment, result in that you lose the single vital aspect that allows you to perform, e.g. eye-sight, mental ability, fingers (hitting the key-board) or speech, imagine that. Now let’s go one step further, imagine that someone else is in control of you participating and advancing in the corporate ride.

So how do we manage our emotions?

How should coaches and players manage their emotions?

Are emotions just for the ‘weak’?

Are emotions just airy-fairy stuff, soft skills that have no place amongst full-blooded, physically combative men?

Do our ‘emotions’ show-up in our actions and speech?

What effects do emotions have on our performance?

Are emotions ‘intelligent’ as in EQ – Emotional Intelligence?

Do emotions have a life of their own?

Just for today, I will sit in front of the emotional ride – let it rip!!!

The Brand is a Coach and Trainer in the Mental side of the game, focusing on the X-Factor – the difference that makes a difference – in Business and Sport, for Individuals and Teams. Read more about realising your potential, in the 80% plus determinant factor of success, on The Brand’s website at  

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  1. Nevermind them, Jannie dup as well.

    I personally rate him higher than Brendon Botha.

    This guy was massive throughout the currie cup on a consistant basis, as were the other 2.

    I think that in time to come, he will still be a legendry prop for SA partnering Guthrow.

    Who noticed the ‘massa hare’ big hit that he put in on Danie ‘PK’ Rossouw. Believe me, it was massive!! He has the heart of a Lion, and is fu@ken hard

  2. Good article to raise our own emotions- but totally valid from the players side I suppose.

    Just a pity that both Pieterse & Floors – who have seemingly turned “most” of the Bulls supporters- into fans as well- will not lie awake- because of the whoa- but because of the why.

    CoachWhite- aka TheSnake is correct- you cannot please everyone

    Well- he is correct-but it would have helped I he had chosen a team that resembles the best( form – class- potential- BEE scorecard) players

    I want to answer Brand’s Question with the following question

    Why did Albert VDB lie awake?

  3. As a ‘mind’ coach I am often asked – to the value of ‘psyching-up’ players before a game?

    Obviously one want to say – “Great guns!!”

    Is that the most effective methode?Should be the question.

  4. Welshbok

    Jannie duP, must also wonder what he needs to be doing different / else.

    Was it Boertjie or Bachelor that said he is good looking as well.

    Seeing that we are talking about emotions – me was just wondering what emotions that comment evokes in supporters?

  5. OO

    Thanks for input.

    Yes – our own awareness is paramount in improvement.

    Seeing that emotions do play such a huge role in our lives, effective time needs to be given to it.

  6. I do not believe in psyching players up before a game.

    In fact, I try to instill calm into then, constantly telling them to slow down, slow their thinking, slow the game in their head and slow down the things they are supposed to do on the field in 10 minutes time when the game kicks off.

    The psyching up part is rather instilling a quiet, calm confidence in themas they strap up and warm up, with absolute calm, but utter focus as they line up to run on to the field.

  7. In terms of performance:

    In my experiece elite athletes rely on their emotions to give them the edge, the adrenaline to take them to their peak performance and beyond. Tiger Woods Swinging Fist of Triumph comes to mind when he starts to get on a roll.

    The reason why these athletes can do this, and why others go to pot is due to the soundness of their mental makeup. A critical distinction is that these athletes can get their ego out of the way – they have a solid grounding and have strong beliefs around their own value which are INDEPENDANT of their performance.

    For those athletes who are still suffering right now, feeling that they are are on the wrong end of injustice:

    True champions will use this experience as motivation to work harder and more innovately as they know deep in their heart of hearts – their time will come. They have been given a fantastic oppertunity, I hope they have enough of a solid grounding to see it.

    To Mr Pieterse, Mr Floors, Mr Du Plessis, Mr Watson, Mr V D Merwe et al – your time will come, but an oppertunity to develop your character and ability as a rugby player is now. I trust you will take it.

  8. OO

    W hen I think of a Albert vd Berg or others, going on another Bok tour (read -booooring) how do you keep them engaged.

    How do you keep a player fully focused and ‘pumping’, after his third of more Super 14 tour down-under?

  9. The Brand

    Imagine what it’s like being a player selected, knowing full well that there are far better players left out unfairly.

    I really feel sorry for Albert van der berg…..(about as leathel as a piece of string in a sword fight) He probably feels the same as Eddie did for 2 years.

    Jannie duP is a qualified Medical doctor. He still has a bright future lying ahead for him anyway. Jake had better cap him quickly, or ells he’ll be off to some 1st world country where he can play rugby (and naai the boks), and stay on practicing his medicine.

  10. PA

    One of the age-group coaches I interviewd a while ago said the following: “The player must have fire in the heart and ice in the head!”

    So how would you get your players to be – burning emotionally inside and totally calm and focused in their minds/thinking.

    I always look at the EYES of the players as they walk out of the change rooms, through the tunnel and onto the field – it says volumes.

  11. TG

    How would you – harness – the emotions of those players you mentioned you?

    How would you – get them – to turn these ‘bad/down’ emotions into helping them to do even better?

  12. Welshbok

    Watching Jannie duP on the field – I see so much of Ollie le Roux.

    To me he is just that more ‘professional’ – your recount that he is a qualified medical doktor, confirms my thoughts.

    He seems – in control.

    I can see the hours apon hours of internship, in hospital-duty giving him resolve.

  13. It is different for every player really, some need more attention than others, and it also depends whether the player is a senior member of the squad or not, I try and let players feed of one another.

    But in all honesty, I close my preparation on the Thursday with an emotionally charged practice with high intensity.

    If there is a captains run I start telling the players to slow their thinking down, if there is not, I do it on match day.

    In all honesty, all preparations are done, and I tend to want to take a hugely emotionally charged and intense Thursday session and let all that emotion and intensity sit with the players till the Friday evening or the match day morning.

    Then I try and slow everything down and focus on letting the guys channel their emotion making it clear that all preparations are now done, and all that is needed is execution through absolute focus on what we have done as a team in the week leading up to the game.

    Emotionally charged people do stupid and uncharacteristic things – I find this contradictory to coaching the very same guy when he is calm during the week.

    I want the player who I coach during the week to run onto the field, not some testosterone filled crazy bunny, then whatever I coached means nothing.

    But yeah, my last practice is very much charged up, very intense and extremely emotional, but come match day, I look for the ‘ice’ in my players as you refer to it.

  14. I think TG has the key to emotional stability, in separating your intrinsic value from your performance. What ever happens it adds to the person you are.

    From a performance point of view psyching for a game is quite personal. It may reflect personality types. I don’t have to get up and yell and shout, I’m always up for a game keeping calm is an issue so being over psyched has been a problem for me in the past in that it is very draining and doesn’t suit me I loose touch with my body, which means I loose the edge.

    Other guys I know need to be yelling and banging heads and that gets them up for a game. I used to do this whole head butting thing with a fellow player (helmets in football are quite useful) because as one of the team leaders this displayed dragged some players into the game etc. For me it was something I did to get them into the game. Some players still think I’m a wild man some 11 years later and they are surprised how calm and family man I actually am. People fail to understand that beheading someone on the field is what I did not who I was, but I did have fun dong it and when I got smashed I loved it even more especially when the moment of retribution comes

  15. Brand

    I would harness the emotions by welcoming them in, to “feel” the nerves, energy and give space to the wide spectrum of emotions that athletes have, to do this requires structure and routine. For me the more pressure an athlete is under, the more structure and routine he needs to support him. He is under pressure because of the variables he cant control (game/match/race) so therefor needs to not worry or be distracted by the variables in his control.

    Athletes will have a sense of what routine and structure works for them, and how to avoid boredom in this domain, the role of the coach, manger, parent is to illicit from the player what works for him, and to create that environment.

  16. Boertjie

    Always when working with men and focusing on emotions – I get a fight or flight response.

    They either get de moer in because they are not ’emotional’ they have strong heads or they duck-and-dive me because real men don’t talk openly about emotions.

    I always chuckle inside because both reactions are emotional reactions.

    Well your question about Butch James – had me thinking about an example I mostly use with ‘non-emotional’ men.

    I ask (remember SA context): “Don’t taxi mini busses make you de moer in?” All innocent and inquiring.

    A typical ‘Butch’ reaction (if this is your implication?) would be the same as the taxi driver in above senario.

  17. PA

    When you get the ‘ice’ in the players heads, what about the ‘fire’ in their hearts, when the game drags on-and-on and they are slowing slipping downhill?

    Surely you want them to be able to do the proverbial ‘lift the car without jack’ thing when they have to?

  18. Nick

    Thanks for that.

    How would you get someone to be able to do what you said: “separating your intrinsic value from your performance”.

    Don’t everyone believe they are what they do?
    And what they do and say does truly reflect who they are?

    Or at the very least – they are their successes?

  19. TG

    Thanks for answering the ‘harness’ question – am I correct in that the ‘harnessing’ you described is something that should happen before and during a game/event?

    Now how would you help a player who has been dropped/not selected to :
    “How would you – get them – to turn these ‘bad/down’ emotions into helping them to do even better?

    Comment by The Brand© — October 18, 2006 @ 2:29 pm

    Given how ‘bad’ they feel now.

  20. There were eight moments of pure emotional ‘intelligence’, or lapse thereof and mental paralysis that stood out for me on Saturday.

    The Bulls had the game and they choked.

    To the credit of the Cheetahs they behaved magnificently in a controlled and very stable manner that eventually neutralised the Bulls that it wound up in this famous draw.

    The first two moments were Hougaard missing two penalties in front of the posts – 6 points

    The second was the Bulls Captain Gary Botha, taking 5 touch kicks that were all goalable and within range of his kickers and that this was condoned by Pote Human and Heyneke Meyer. Their remonstrations in the circle at 80 minutes showed the rush of blood to the head and they were blinded of any rational thinking.

    The 8th moment was Gary Botha not going for goal in the final penalty and take it to the death. That moment right there showed that the Bulls lacked this calm measured and clinical emotional intelligence.

    The game was the Bulls to lose and they did.

  21. That Brand is your domain. I try to help the players to understand that through my own example. In career decisions nothing is final, getting fired is not the end of the world. People have three careers typically. But often people have seen their grand parents or parents go through the trauma of retrenchment or retirement where their self worth was determined by the trappings and ego of the job and how devastated they are at the end. Its hard, but my own explanation of where I am can help.

  22. Welshbok

    My reply to Boertjie also is regarding your post.

    I am always amazed at how calm and sure of themselves and their actions, these taxi drivers are when ‘obviously’ transgressing the laws.

    Everytime I think :”If I can get my players that sure and calm in the face of sooooo much emotion flying their way – we will be unstoppable.

    Just this morning walking.jogging with my wife and baby daughter – a minibus taxi pushed us of the walk-path to offload pasenger.

    He did not even acnowledged my looks, nor were the pasengers faced in any way whatsoever.

    I think the players you guys are referring to has some of that thick-skinnedness.

  23. It has never really been a problem for me to keep them focus, or have the fire in the heart.

    The focus for me on matchday, is intensity, but channelled – not out of control.

    So during the warm-up’s strapping etc I never lose site of the intensity, but I make a conscious effort to make sure that the guys channel it correctly hence me slowing everything down all the time.

    Like I said, different for different players as you will find juniors will need much more attention as their energy goes wild as nerves kick in.

    I harness that, or try to, I most definately do not want to lose the intensity, just harness it.

    it is damned difficult though as you would know!!!

  24. Which players ICE in he head melted in the CC final

    Those who knew they are there on borrowed time

    Who knew they are not really good enough for this stage- but this bite at the cherryn – might- just convince the decision makers that they are good enough

    They doubt themselves- because they knew that there are doubts about their abilities- hence the overly committed effort

    A coach of a weaker team- lack of skills- in season commitment- injuries- whatever reason- will always try to -phyce- up his team- in order to enhance the Now performance.

    The Coach who know that his team can compete and win- will do his utmost to keep the team composed and in a Controlled – RED MISTless-Zone.

    There is nothing scientific to my inputs on these mental coaching threads,:smile: yet, but I agree with the experts that those players who endured the 100 minutes the best- have been the players whose RESOLVE had been trained and tested the most – during their development cycles- and by a variety of disciplines.

    The fine tuning- now that is the state that your mind should be in- for professional success in a extremely competitive environment.

  25. Brand

    Yes, I was refering to the buildup before a game, and even within a game itself, welcome the frustration of the mistake, deal with it and then move on.

    For a player who was dropped our not selected I would ask them (and have) do you want to be a good Springbok or a Great Springbok?

    Challenges and injustice are a fact of sport – you cannot control that, you can control your attitude to those happenings and if you triumph over this, it sets you up to succeed in so many ways for the other challenges in your life, on the sports field and off.

    I would challenge them to use their emotions to motivate them to work harder, train through your anger, steel your resolve, use your emotions to forge your goals and discipline and your time will come. Work on your strengths AND weaknesses. Hire a sprint coach, study experts in your position, become a feedback “junkie” so that you can learn and grow more, hire NickTat or another conditioning coach, improve your mental game, utilise the skills coach in your union or club. Use visualisation to improve your skills, stretch yourself to innovate in your approach to the game and your training. Work hard – in and outside of the box

  26. Hehehe
    Nope, you guys are way above my thinking.
    I think Butch James is just useless, was wondering if he thinks he deserves to be there.

    IMO real men are the ones that sometimes cry, without necessarily trying to hide or deny it.

  27. Don’t want to throw a cat in amongst the pigeons here but I still believe the very best athletes (or anything for that matter) have it.

    They intrinsically know how to get themselves into whatever zone it is that most fulfills their needs.

    I’m not denigrating sports psychology, I’m all for it.

    Merely saying that for the very best, sports psychology or ‘head’ coaches won’t make that much difference.

    From a young age these high achievers discovered their own motivational levers and zones of comfort or strength from which to draw when required.

    A 17 year old Boris Becker simply had awesome self-confidence, no outside influence could have made him more prepared to win Wimbledon, in fact, they might have distracted him.

    Mark Spitz won 7 Olympic golds in a single Olympics by his own endeavour.

    Jesse Owen created his own mental zone from which to draw strength.

    I don’t think Jack Nicklaus ever consulted a sports psychologist.

    Michael Johnson simply knew from his practise times that he was the best, that confidence accompanied him onto the track in major meets. He never doubted he’d win, just whether he’d break a world record.

    Naas Botha had utter faith in his ability and would always step an attacking flanker knowing he wouldn’t get caught.

    Serge Bubka has never had a peer – he is unique, no amount of head coaching would make him better and, again, might simply have distracted him from his innate self confidence.

    The best are simply not mentally fragile or frail.

    On the other hand, I’m not sure any amount of mental coaching can help Gaffie du Toit become consistently high performing.

    Or make Ockert Britz carry his practise heights into international competitions where it really counts.

    Or translate Adrian Kuiper’s provincial brilliance into consistent international brilliance.

    Just being Devil’s Advocate.

    As I say, I believe there is a place for sports psychology but there is no substitute for genetic gift, utter self-belief, great formative coaching and countless hours of excruciatingly hard practise.

  28. Tony

    Brilliant!!! Given your view-point I gather it is fair to say – yes the Bulls ‘chocked’.

    I looked at Heyneke Meyer speaking to the players and really ‘felt’ for Pote Human – he seemed ‘lost’ to me, not sure what to say when.

    The 8 penalties then – Hougaard 2, Gary 5 in game time, plus last 1 at death – would have made a huge difference, don’t you think.

    My overall take of the Bulls and have to say of Rassie as well, was that they were NOT prepared for a “What if it’s a draw’ senario after 80 minutes.

    The Cheetahs handled it better at the end.

    Thanks for highlighting the fact that emotional intelligence is so important.

    Emotional intelligence do also not just happen overnight. At any professional team there should be a well designed program to enhance the emotional intelligence of the players AND coaching staff.

    The foundation of emotional intelligence is – awareness.

    Without awareness we are shooting blind-folded.

  29. NickTat

    It put ‘trappings’ of success into a whole new perspective.

    Thanks for that.

    I also believe it is what we find with more ‘senior’ and ‘successfull’ players.

    And then a ‘Marius Joubert’ happens and they are branded ‘confidence’ players – just another term for: ‘we can not depend on you’.

  30. PA

    That is just fantastic.

    So many coaches goes either way.

    Calm focus or psyching-up.

    Very few know how to harness the best of both ‘states’.

    So how do you keep them on that ‘harnessed focused-intensity’ during the whole game?

  31. Yes Brand

    Being blatent in a cunning and calculated manner appearing innocent during an extreme emotional encounter such as this weekend takes some doing.

    Ollie le Roux, Jannie dup, and last year the best of them probably was Naka. This is an attribute I think is crucial for front row players. Remember Cobus Visagie giving Deon Carstens a working over. It was that same thing you talk about.

    This attribute takes some mean maturity, normally found only with the older grizzley bears in the game. I wonder how much of this isn’t from Rassie encouraging them to be it

    What excited me most with that exact thing you mentioned, but being seen in a youngster (Jannie duP). He is only 24/5 of age, and becoming a monster up front.

  32. I don’t think Jack Nicklaus ever consulted a sports psychologist.

    hehehe Ras

    But neither did his opponents

    they just had less of IT

    Today – both the IT-rich and the IT- less are being coached to be strong minded

    Does Rory Duncan have it

  33. Welshbok

    I also fear that a player like Jannie might be easily tempted overseas.

    Given his career it would enable him to experience career benefits as well as rugby benefits.

    Do young medics still have to do a period of community service in SA?

  34. Brand,

    I use my secret weapon

    It is impossible to keep tabs on 15 or 22 guys to make sure they stay in the zone.

    So on Thursday practice and one matchday I spend most of my attention on my secret weapon, my tight 5.

    A psyched and fired up tight 5 fires up everyone around them.

    Then I use my flyhalf for a calming influence effect balancing the testostorone out a bit.

    If they become too calm, I fire up the tight 5 again, and too fired up, I speak to the flyhalf to calm, slow things down as he is in the best position to do that.

    The captain knows exactly what I do and depending which phase we are in, he knows exactly how to play it too either being calm, or firing up his team.

    The understanding is important.

    But again, it is amazing to see how a fired up tight 5 lifts the team.

    I would suggest to any coach at any level to try this.

  35. OO (or anyone for that matter)

    Do you know if Oscar Chalupsky consults a sports psychologist?

    I would imagine that long distance paddling on the open ocean provides one with ample opportunity for introspection and self analysis.

    I don’t know if he does or not.

    I do know that from his early teens, he had IT.

  36. OO

    I promise you we do not ‘know’ more than you.

    All that we do is the following – we studied what successful people do and then we studied how to transfer that to other people who want to improve their ‘game’.

    Nothing ‘new’ under the sun.

    We focus on the processes and structures of experience.

  37. Welshie
    Depends on who spots Jannnie Dup first – The Snake (who spotted Eddie A and Deon C :shocksmile
    or the European agents.

    So guys, why does Ockert Brits and Wayne Ferreira never make it bigtime?
    And QD – who has all the attributes to be a great player, but is not?
    Surely we can’t blame the coaches?

  38. rasp

    Community service is still done, but only for those who want to practice in SA.

    Medical in SA however is a high risk job, and grossly underpayed for the hours they have to do, hence the fact that so many doctors left the country for either Canada, UK or Antipodes.

    a GP starting off in SA earns 12 – 15000 Rand p/month, which is pathetic.

    Marlise, my wife, is specialising in internal medicine (physician), and will be a consultant next year, and she has no intention of ever going back to SA merely for those reasons.

    She will have to then as a specialist , do 2 years community service in a goverment hospital, work in high risk (HIV) circumstances with highly unproffesional staff and delapidated equipment. It’s just not worth it.

    Jannie duP, could leave now, land himself a great job part timing as a GP in the NHS (UK)tomorrow, and earning as a part time GP about 30K PA.

    He can still play club rugby for any of the premiership clubs and England, and have a fat royal life in the UK.

  39. I don’t think Jack Nicklaus ever consulted a sports psychologist.

    hehehe Ras

    But neither did his opponents

    they just had less of IT

    Today – both the IT-rich and the IT- less are being coached to be strong minded

    Comment by Oranje Orakel — October 18, 2006 @ 3:42 pm |Edit This


    I could buy this…..until I compare it to Tiger Woods.

    I don’t believe Tiger Woods consults a sports psychologist.

    Yet so many of his opponents have.

    I would argue that Tiger simply has IT.

    I would also argue that many of his opponents have IT as well and should accept that Tiger just has more IT than they do and until injury, death, boredom or retirement intervenes, he’ll always have more IT. Unless a Tiger-Mark II appears.

    That doesn’t mean the rest are poor or bad golfers or mentally frail – they just don’t have the timeline of events/experiences/motivations that Tiger had.

  40. Ras

    You are not wrong on those few brilliant individuals – what would you say maybe one in every 100 million perhapse?

    And then we studie them and their processes and structures they use in thinking and emoting and how to transfer that to other wanting to perform at higher levels.

    Our own Wayne Ferreira was voted by his peers as THE complete tennis player in 1994 – they his co-tennis-pros said nobody on the circuit could hit the ball so well so many different shots.

    Physically gifted won’t you say – had to be mentally strong to stay in the top 10 of the most competitive sport in the world for so long.

    Do you think he could have done better with MindCoaching?

  41. Ras

    I think Sport Psychologists consult with Oscar.

    I have heard so many amazing stories about the man over so many years – he is a true living legend.

    I would also have loved for him to entertain us today on ‘mind coaching’.

  42. Ras – young docs have to go do 2 years of crappy community service in rural hospitals miles away from their loved ones.

    The policy is driving our graduate doctors to Canada in their thousands.

  43. Boertjie

    Regarding a Ockert Britz and Wayne Ferreira as INDIVIDUAL sportmen – both have accomplished so much in their respective sporting careers.

    I think our frustration lies in the fact that we believe they can accomplish soooo much MORE, don’t you think?

    Our expectations for them were so much more than they produced.

    Now regarding a QD and players being in a coaching set-up – as in TEAM sports – I ‘blame’ the coach and management 100%.

    Even with someone like a QD – just read this week about an Grid-Iron player who is equally ‘gifted’ by ‘troublesome’.

  44. But again, it is amazing to see how a fired up tight 5 lifts the team.

    I would suggest to any coach at any level to try this.

    Comment by PissAnt — October 18, 2006 @ 3:44 pm


    Believe me, firing up my tight five is quite a job. Ever tried lighting diesel with a lighter. Same affect.

  45. The Brand,

    Gary Player wasn’t as naturally gifted a golfer as Jack Nicklaus or Arnold Palmer.

    He simply practised harder than any of his peers.

    Ernie Els is by common consent one of the most naturally gifted golfers in the world yet Phil Mickelson heads from the 18th green straight to the practise area for hours of practise on what he feels let him down in the round.

    Perhaps Mind Coaching can offer some individuals the necessary few percentage points that make the difference between being average and very good but I suspect that immense self-sacrifice and hard work offers more.

    But I’m very much a lay person in this and it’s just a friendly opinion. I’ll leave it to you okes who have studied it and are experts.

    Anyone know how much individual All Blacks utilize sports psychologists or Mind Coaches?

  46. I would also have loved for him to entertain us today on ‘mind coaching’.

    Comment by The Brand© — October 18, 2006 @ 4:11 pm |Edit This

    The Brand

    I think Oscar’s summary would go along these lines:

    “I get in my canoe and I say to myself, I’m going to win this fu*king thing, even if it kills me doing it. Finished and klaar.”

    No mental frailty in his make-up!

  47. Ras

    Check out Think Like Tiger – John Andrisani

    It talks about Team Tiger and shares how Team Tiger focused on mental development and mental strength from a very early age. He has had a team of people guiding and advising him, especially on his mental game.

    In our research into our Greatest Athletes in SA, we found that guys like Naas Botha, Penny Heyns, Marks Maponyane, John Laffnie De Jager, Sherrylle Calder, Jonty Rhodes, Shaun Pollock, Natalie Du Toit etc who had “it”, had a work ethic first and foremost. They all grew into having the right mental makeup throughout their careers and interestingly enough all had various degrees of the same skills. 11 skills across gender and sporting codes, that we have used as the basis of our Elite Athlete Development program. With this foundational work in place you can then work with an athlete to develop his own unique frames of mind according to his personality and sport and abilities knowing that he has all the basics that he needs to succeed.

    So for those guys who have “It” naturally, many would welcome the understanding of the process that they “stumbled” open, to fine tune their own unique makeup. The key to “naturals” is that they use routine and structure to create their peak performances – they need time to rectify problems and faults in their game, and often due to the pressures of international sport – they dont have enough time. By understanding their own process, we can use less time to achieve more.

  48. Ras

    Tiger Woods was one of the first Top golfer who used and still uses a mind coach.

    He used to have three coaches: Golf coach, Financial coach and Mind coach.

    Just as he fine-tunes his golf-swing constantly – so does he fine-tunes his ‘mental game’ constantly.

    He is our No.1 example.

  49. Ras – young docs have to go do 2 years of crappy community service in rural hospitals miles away from their loved ones.

    The policy is driving our graduate doctors to Canada in their thousands.

    Comment by robdylan© — October 18, 2006 @ 4:14 pm |Edit This

    Anyone know if Jannie Dup has done his, or currently busy with it?

    Surely Bloem counts as rural? :razz::razz::razz:

    Just kidding OO!

  50. Ras

    Tiger Woods was one of the first Top golfer who used and still uses a mind coach.

    He used to have three coaches: Golf coach, Financial coach and Mind coach.

    Just as he fine-tunes his golf-swing constantly using a ‘swing’ coach – so does he fine-tunes his ‘mental game’ constantly using a ‘mind’ coach.

    He is our No.1 example.

  51. It talks about Team Tiger and shares how Team Tiger focused on mental development and mental strength from a very early age.

    Comment by TG — October 18, 2006 @ 4:20 pm |Edit This


    Tiger Woods was one of the first Top golfer who used and still uses a mind coach.

    He used to have three coaches: Golf coach, Financial coach and Mind coach.

    Comment by The Brand© — October 18, 2006 @ 4:22 pm |Edit This

    Well, that takes care of that then!


  52. So, TG, The Brand

    Can you solve the riddle within an enigma wrapped in a mystery that is one Gaffie du Toit?

    By common consent with all who have worked with him from his formative years, he should be an international star.

    What happened?

  53. Hey Rob, Interesting thread. Trying to balance contributing here with preparing for tomorrow (big day) Lots to be done, but a nice break to switch gears for my mind. See you at touch on Sun.

  54. Ollie
    Problems with firing up your tight five, hey?
    Must be the fact that they are female.
    Their minds work differently – so you need a different approach.
    Women by nature are philantropists and against any form of violence.
    Maybe the experts know how to work around this?

  55. Ras

    It is so difficult to predict what a player has in his mental makeup, all we can tell on the outside is that it is either working or not working.

    My guess is that he has some inhibiting frames of mind or beliefs around pressure and expectation and the Nick Mallet experience further entrenched those beliefs. When he played for Griquas at the beginning of his career – his potential shone, but from my perspective too infrequently after that.

    If he was motivated to move beyond that, he could (even now in his career) if he sought out the right kind of assistance, but whether he has knowledge of that kind of assitance or desire is anyones guess.

    You cant teach an old dog new tricks, however you can teach an old motivated dog – anything.

  56. Ras

    Thanks for keeping us on our toes.

    For me it is all about performing at the next level.

    The following quote sums it up for me:
    “A limit does not deny a basic principle, it only identifies the edges.”

    So I look at a Tiger Woods and say to myself –
    “He was born with a body and bodily dimension which enable him to hit a golf-club more effectively than say an Ollie le Roux. He was not born with a mind that think more positively or enhancing or resiliently than the rest of us.”

    Then I ask myself :”How does he do it now?” and “How can we transfer his thinking structures and processes to others who want to improve their game?”

  57. So how do you explain John Daly, The Brand?

    He’s got the body shape of a hippo.
    The mind of a gun slinger.
    The habits of a glutton.
    The mental preperation of a lemming.

    Or are some things simply destined to remain a mystery?

  58. Ras

    If SARU was motivated – for sure

    Mind Coaching is never challenged by the difficulty of goals or outcomes, but only by the application and motivation of the client.

    One of my personal quotes that I keep in my head is from Tony Robbins, “People often overestimate what they can do in a year, but dramatically underestimate what they can do in 10”

  59. Ras

    On Gaffie, one word, ag I mean two words – Nick Mallet.

    If one has the opportunity to talk to Gaffie – I think we will realise the following: Gaffie is externally validated or at the very least, was externally validating at the time of one Mallet.

    Pooooof there it goes.

    Can he at this late stage still turn things arround?

    There is zero doubt in my mind.

    What will it take?

    For Gaffie to work his arse off – fully commited and professionally – with either TG or myself.

  60. Isnt/Wasnt he on the juice bottle Ras?

    The only mystery is the mysteries the secret juice holds when it comes to the mental toughness when consumed by certain individuals!!!

  61. Ras

    I really enjoy the persona that is John Daly, The swing, the hair, the personality and I think he even released a CD.

    His talent is undeniable, that impossible overswing comes off more often than not – what has been variable aside from his addictions (booze, cigaretts or M&Ms) has been his weight and my guess his work ethic.

    With that amount of talent he falls into the one-hit-wonder category , and when he worked hard he has had some major successes, but as his work ethic declined or plain ran away so did his performances.

  62. Ras

    I think that is exactly why he shoots as he does.

    Three bulls-eyes, circles touching, from thousand yards and next week nothing, nada, niks.

    On and off.

    At the very top, it should be ON every time – it can!!!

  63. Personal attacks???!!! I never personally attacked anybody but anyone that disagrees with me are useless pieces of worm slime!!!

  64. Grrr,

    Anyone who disagrees with me gets a pair of extremely expensive and high fashion concrete boots.

    In my own personal Mind Coaching persona, I like to refer to that as ‘positive affirmation counselling’.

  65. So what is the first imparitive in effectively managing your emotions?


    And after you become aware?

    Pure non-judgemental ACCEPTANCE.

    Acceptance of the feelings experienced – not agreement, not validating or any other higher meaning – just :”I accept I feel this, here and now.”

    Thereafter one has to ask:”What are my emotions trying to tell me?”

    Now this you can only do, once you understand that emotions are not ‘Intelligent’ in themselves. Emotions have no intrinsic intelligence.

    AND you understand that emotions are the end product of an evaluation process.

    AND emotions are but the messenger of this evaluative process.

    So you ask: “Emotion, messenger, what is the message in this experience?”

    And therin begins ’emotional intelligence’ or a better description would be – :You begin to be more intelligent regarding you emotions.

  66. The Brand

    Please boet, stop it now! All this talk about emotions and feelings gives me the urge to go buy a pink Polo shirt and hop and skip down Somerset street in Cape Town…

  67. Now to use my SA example of the taxi minibus again.

    Or if you can remember a time when you REALLY got ‘de moer in’ even better.

    Remember it was as if you flew into a ‘rage’ was it not.

    I mean it is instant.
    You did not dilly dally around, thinking and wondering if you should get ‘de moer in’ or not.

    It was WAMM = ‘de moer in’

    Or was it.

    Most of my clients at the beginning of the coaching session say : they become instantly ‘de moer in’ and also that the other person – and don’t miss this – MADE them ‘de moer in’.

    Well well well – MADE THEM ‘DE MOER IN’

    Have any of you ever experience this -that someone else MADE you ‘de moer in’?

  68. Grrr


    Often after one of my players got yellow carded in a game and we have the ‘Yellow card talk” they would say: “But coach he MADE me upset/angry/boos/mal”

    Emotions are an inside job.

    I nor anybody else – can MAKE you ‘de moer in’.

    You have to do the ‘de moer in’ work yourself.

    You make yourself emotionally.

    I or anybody else can only do certain stuff – maybe even with the hope that you will get ‘de moer in’ and the we were successful.

    But if you do not want to get ‘de moer in’ – we can TRY to do whatever you will stay in control of you emotionalising.

  69. Ja, lots of people MAKE me the moer in! Like the d**s I met last night who went on and on and on about how he KNOWS South Africa is the most dangerous country in the entire world!!! Yes you ignorant Yanky f*ck, you guys made the most dangerous country in the world, called Irak… :evil: It didn’t “wham” hit me that I’m ‘de moer in’ but the more he talked the more he MADE me ‘de moer in’…

  70. Now do you guys understand when I say: “Only the really tough ones can manage their emotions.”

    To manage your emotions you have to be MENTALLY TOUGH.

    Pissies don’t make it – no matter how ‘big’ or ‘strong’.

    Pissies also never go onto the MENTAL TOUGHNESS Program – that is only reserved for the really tough ones.

  71. No, Grrr, he just gave you the tools, you made yourself “de moer in”!

    Anyone who ‘gives me the tools’ still gets a discounted pair of concrete boots and a short walk off a pier…:lol:

  72. This one guy arrives at the Cape flats emotions fancy dress party looking like a pear.

    They ask him “djy, watse emotion is dit dan, so ewe soos ‘n peer aangetrek?”

    He answered “naai man, I’m feeling an emotion my broer, I’m in Dispair”

    The next guy walked in wairing a dress.

    The same, they asked him “Djy, nou watse emotion is dit dan die?”

    He said ” naai man, I’m in Distress”

    The 3rd guy walks in kaalgat, with his dick dangling in a bowl of custard

    They say “djy, kyk die bra. Sal hy nou kaalgat hier aankom met sy voel innie vla…Djy, watse emotion is dit dan die?”

    He said “naai man, djulle verstaan nie. I’m fucking disgusted”

  73. Grrr

    Did you at least wamm him?
    I think you should have!!!

    None of us is always, everywhere immune to being MADE ‘de moer in’ but I am surprised at how quick people get the whole emotion management concept, and change their lives.

    Even when we think we are very ‘metally tough’ we get ‘MADE’ ‘de moer in’ by our VIPs.

    We just nowadays recover faster.

    Thanks for sharing ‘getting de moer in’

  74. Luke Watson has been nominated in 3 out of the 6 categories for the SA Rugby awards this year.

    IT really is only Jake who doesnt rate him.

  75. Talking about managing your emotions I generally have two kinds of reactions.

    The usually ’emotional’ group moans and bitches that they are from now on never ‘allowed’ to just ‘let fly’.
    I have taken/stolen something precious from them.
    Their ‘licence’ to not be responsible for their emotional outbursts.

    The second group of ‘non-emotional’ people is upset because they realise they do that also all by themselves – suppressing their ‘real’ feelings.

    It takes a while to be chewed and swallowed for nurturing.

    Once it settles I proceed to the amazing aspect, that we can – where ever and whenever we want to or need to, crank our emotions up to optimal performance level.

    Then all the men have silly smiles and look at their wifes – often one of the bravest would say: “No more excuses for not being in the ‘mood’ anymore.” So the I am again in the kak from the other half of the group.

  76. Should have been Schmould have been mate.

    It wasnt. Get over it and give the man the recognition he deserves.

    Floors was nominated, just not in so many categories. Floors was anyway poor in the s14.

    Only two guys to get 3 nominations are Watson and Spies.

    Gonna piss myself if Watson wins an award and JAke has to give it to him.

  77. Anyway, it is just amazing that the rugby player in SA who gets the most nominations at the end of the season isnt considered by the bok coach as one of the top 60 players in the country. Yip Jake has called up 60 players to the squad this year and couldnt find a place for the most nominated player in SA.

    Its actually unbelievably sad that this is the state of our rugby.

  78. Goodness… can’t wait to come back home. Just had a guy in to sell a marketing idea. Afterwards I had to listen how he won three grammy’s when he was 20, how he’s writing a book about he’s fabulous life, the night he met J-Lo… For goodness sake!!! Almost a half hour of him sucking himself off… These people are crazy!!!

  79. O yes, obviously the book is going to be made into a movie or TV series and he wants to star in it, and he is going to go on Oprah to launch his book… there is something in this places water. That’s why I stick to beer…

  80. Vinnie

    I do coaching and training as a profession.

    Sometimes I am approached to do a motivational speech.

    I do it, even though I have more success doing coaching and training – in making a difference in peoples lives.

    And that is what it is all about for me.

    I do the articles for R%uggaWorld for many reasons.

    One being the enjoyment I get out of it.

    I am normally a ‘serious’ person, and the blogging keep my head open and filled with loads of fun.

    That is why I seldom resist replying to a real funny post.

    Ha ha ha – ‘real’ funny – damm just showed my ‘serious’ frame with that comment.

    But there id hope – I am much better than 4 months ago allready.

    IU even do ‘funny faces’ these days. see!!!

  81. Grrr

    come on – what is a bit of everything?

    You have us waiting – really.

    I am serious now. Would like to know – I was going there when I asked you the other day – why you are in USA now?

  82. For those out there who still can’t believe that a lot of thinking happens, in the milliseconds it take them to ‘fly into a rage’.

    Getting angry is NOT instant – stimulus = response.

    A lot happens between the ‘stimulus’ the event and your response to that event.

    Think back on the last time you got ‘instantly’ angry.

    The following, at least, had to happen. The ‘getting angry’ process has the following steps in it:

    1. What result/outcome/effect/consequence did you want to get/create?

    Once you identified that you could then go to step two.

    2. You went through your ‘menu-list’ of possible actions that would result in the aim of step 1.

    E.g. Spit in face – head-butt – snot klap – swear – scream – pull a knife – pull a gun – use a knife – use a gun – kick – kick in face . . . get the idea. We have a always ready meny-list from which we choose to react.

    Now with the decision made from the menu-list we go to step 3.

    3. Define the actions, in detail, to perform.

    If you decided on slap-in-face, you have to decide if it is going to be a round-house slap, or a back-hand, or a open-hand . . . get it?

    Now with the action defined, we go to step 4.

    4. The intensity/degree of action to be performed. Do you give a ‘moffie’ slap, or do you give a burst an eardrum slap, or “klap jy hom/haar so hard dat sy/haar snot soos ‘n rol doringdraad om sy/haar kop sal sit.”

    Now you are ready to give just the right klap, in just the right way, with just the right intensity, to get just the right effect.

    You see all of that in a ‘flash’.

    Now when you don’t perform the klap in just that way – you might pull a knife and gut the person to kingdom come and spend the rest of you able life in jail.

  83. Ther you have it – how you do your getting angry ‘in a flash’.

    The same principle applies to the rugby players.

    You go for a late tackle – you do your 4 steps – and excecute the action.

    All that kak of ‘sorry ref, did not intended it’ is just that – KAK.

    So when a player receives a yellow card all that needs to be decided at next practice – is his punishment – end of story.

  84. yes, interesting article, but while kabamba floors is really unlucky, the most unlucky player must be barend pieterse, bloody good allround lock, i dont think there is a better jumpr on the opposition ball, even vic matfield and barend also ets stick into the tightloose.

    in fairness, he should have been selected with both vic and bakkies out, but jake wants an enforcre 4 for the NH, hence ackerman who had a great s14. very difficult, i’d have picked barend for albert defintely.

    Rasputin’ alternative side is a superb one.

  85. Vinnie

    Sorry, stepped out for a secound. My family has a furniture manufacturing business. We have retail shops in SA and in the U.S.A. We are opening a new store in Scotsdale Arizona and I came over to relocate stock to the new shop and to give the current one a once over. Rest of the time I drink…

  86. Grrr you good for nothing cabinet maker check out the awards thread … and remember, youu are not alone ………………..

  87. The Brand© – top article & it seems to have elicited some quality responses. Been on your www & think you are on to a good thing – Res ipsa loquitur – nice work, the lull period is not going to be so dull after all.

  88. Grrr

    That is one niiiice website.

    Yeara ago – ’96 we all had ‘intro’ pages, then the general research showed that people don’t hang arround waiting for ‘fron/intro page’ to open.

    So everybody canned the idea.

    Lately I see the ‘intro’ page is making a big comeback.

    I am seriously considering one for my own website now.

    Really enjoyed your intro page.

    Rest of site and items to sell is great.

  89. The Brand

    I really wanted to but I don’t ‘smaak’ sleeping in a Florida prison…


    Dude, I wish I could make the stuff… I’m useless with power tools so that is not my job. Selling and the day to day running is my curse…

  90. The Brand,

    This ‘intro page’, is it for the website you are creating that you don’t want anyone to visit?

    Or am I getting confused between you and The Manager?

  91. The Brand

    Thanks mate, that Cheetha cost us a Zebra Ottoman! He took a huge chunk out of it! He didn’t like it at all!! But the pictures turned out great. I’m using them here as well. People love it.

  92. Hehehe Ras

    Bloem is rural- or should I rather say ARE rural

    I mean – the Country Couzins are from the Orange Outback- they had their OranjeOktober and the closest we get to the Sea- is not the waves at Boksburg – but C6


    Now that is a state of mind I like!

    On Oscar Chalupsky

    I agree- he is a LEGEND!

    Alongside the Bertie Reed’s I suppose on mental tuffness!

    Brian Mcmillan
    Fanie De Villiers etc

    to name some of my favourite El Alamein type Saffas!

  93. Ras

    That is managers blogg you are thinking about.

    I had such a good laugh when I read his – don’t look there – chirp.

    I was just wondering how long it is going to take someone to respond and viola – someone did.

    Why is it so funny?

    The mind can not not do a negative command.

    So enjoy the following things.

    Do not think about a pink elephant.

    Do not think of a naked blond girl.

    Do not think of the ruggaworld rugby ball.

    So how was your pink elephant?
    How was you naked blond girl?
    How did you ruggaworld rugby ball look like?

    ha ha ha or should that be

  94. The Brand

    Thanks mate, that Cheetha cost us a Zebra Ottoman! He took a huge chunk out of it! He didn’t like it at all!! But the pictures turned out great. I’m using them here as well. People love it.

    Comment by Grrrr…. I’m a Lion! — October 18, 2006 @ 8:17 pm

    Hehehe Grrr

    Cheetahs chow things with Hoops

    and Horns :mrgreen:

  95. OO

    Hello OO welcome back, missed you today after you early ‘in loer’.

    Who is Bunter?

    Thanks for reminding me about Bertie Reed.

    Man he was mental toughness personified.

    Do you perhapse know hom many round the world trips he did?

  96. Bongani

    Thanks mate.

    I even remebered what – Res ipsa loquitur – stands for.

    It’s been 8 years since my prokerower days.

    I could not believe I remember so I spun arround to my bookcase and grabbed my Latin dictionary – could not believe I still have it, 26 years old now that little book. And yes I was right – ‘ die saak spreek vanself’.
    Obviously I studied in Afrikaans.

  97. OO

    Het die Tannie jou weer die comp teruggegee?

    Ek moes broadband kry – anners was dit game over met my.

    Nou het ‘ons’ al so vooruit begin dink dat skype en video conferencing genoem word.

    Haar ouers, broer en een suster is in NZ. Die ander suster is in Noorwee.

    Dan is die niggies en neef oor die hele wereld – leterlik.

  98. OO

    Have you been there?

    We google earth them today, but the sister’s house was on one of those ‘non detail’ photos, so could not see much.

    But what we could see was awesome.

  99. Only been to Sweden The Brand

    So weatherwise- I understand a bit – 45 snowstorms and then walking with Tshirt and plakkies inside

    What amases me the most about the scandinawian Countries are the general population’s acceptance of its compliance responsibilities and therefore a mature government with regard to GOVERNANCE

    I reckon Norge is cool – because of its Government do everything on cash policy- as opposed to some of the other countries whose taxation income is spend 50 years in advance

  100. We google earth them today,

    Comment by The Brand© — October 18, 2006 @ 9:16 pm |Edit This

    Geez, The Brand

    You really ARE picking up stuff from us!

    Next you’ll be telling us you’ve been listening to Golden Earring’s ‘Radar Love’ on YouTube!

  101. We had a look at the house her brother lives in, in NZ.

    Wife’s comment was: “this is creepy scary.?

    Comment by The Brand© — October 18, 2006 @ 9:16 pm |Edit Thi

    The Brand,

    If your wife thought that was ‘creepy scary’ I could show her a nude sunbather in Den Haag!

    I kid you not!

  102. OO

    Fiends of our recently spent sometime in Sweden. He could not stop talking about – the compliance- factor.

    His favourite story was going to the supermarket – you take a trolly walk the isle, pick what you want , scan it while you go, at the exit you go to a kind of ‘autobank’ slip your card, type in the amount and pay for the stuff taken and leave. Zero tills and security staff checking what you took.

    he said also eveybody ‘flow’ in one direction per row, if you missed something you don’t backpaddle, you go arround again.

    We had such a laugh.

    The only such incredible storie in African context I ever experienced was when we went to NZ couple of years ago. At Perth’s airport in the main transit area they had this huge meter by meter glass box, full of paper money that you could add to for some or other charity. Moerse baie geld, and zero security arround. We could not believe our eyes.

  103. The Brand

    Same glass box at Frankfurt international. I was sitting there thinking if I could get my hands on it it could pay for my whole trip! Imagine one of those at Jo’burg Int (or Oliver Tambo… what ever it’s called…)! I would give it 5min.

  104. Sorry I’m a bit late.

    After one day nearly smacking my best friend over a rugby conversation I realised one thing that as since took most of the ‘negative’ emotion away from this topic:

    Rugby is just a bloody game. There are so many better/more worthwile things in life to be interested in and no one thing should overshadow the others. It makes your brain rot.

    Secondly, after the WC 95 I realised another thing:

    My only duty as a supporter is to support.

    I really did not like the squad picked for that WC beut the country got behind them and look what happened. Stop bitching about who the coach selects. He and he alone must work with these guys. In many great companies they dont neccesarily hire the best man for the job at that particular time. Instead they hire who they think can fit into the organisation best. Why should a national team be different?

    So to recap:

    1 Rugby is just a game. Relax

    2 If you want to pick the team then stand on cold/hot fields for along time in your life and devote all your time to the game so you can become the coach. Until then, just support the guys who are picked.

    The Brand, should we not rather be asking what effect it has on the players that the so called supporters always bitch and moan about them?

  105. Shields


    Its is just a game.

    But I for one can not think of any ‘tool’ better to use to change peoples lives.

    Today we had quite a conversation about emotion, Obviuosly under the ‘cover’ of rugby.

    All the analogies that rugby provide is directly transferable to our lives and the ‘real ‘world if you like.
    And it is done – ‘non-threatening’.

    Yes you are right, about the effect if may have on the ‘choosen’ players.
    That is why the need a brilliant mind coach.

  106. Grrr

    My wife is an interior decorator by qualification – specialize now in Art-Screens as well as Murals and Trompe ‘iLois (spelling)

    She had a look and was really impressed with the whole opperation.

    To me less arti inclined – it just looked great.

  107. Thats the problem Brand,

    Its such an honor for the player to be selected yet he cannot share the moment with the public because there are always people who think the player does not deserve to be there?

    I wonder if the first week of a bok sqaud get-together revolves around ‘how to shut out the fans’? In SA you simply have to win 16 ina row before the entire country get behind you and loan behold you then lose the 17th. Then its back to square one.

    I don think it has anything to do with us being ‘a nation of winners’ etc.

  108. Thank you. Well, I had a lot of help with the site. We are a small operation but doing pretty good. I have a feeling we will also have a shop in Jo’burg soon. I will have to move back to the motherland… But I think I will stay out of the East Rand! Might just bring out the old me!

  109. Shields

    There is so much that can be said about the subject – emotions.

    I took certain angles that I thought would get the guys going and provide valuable information.

    Emotions can also stand for – e-motion.

    E = energy in motion.

    Now the root of the word is french and is the following according to Consice Oxford Dictionary: [f. F emotion (emouvoir – excite, after mouvoir MOVE, motion MOTION)]

    It is what moves us to do something.

  110. Boertjie

    No, our Cape town shop will be there. We just negotiated a new lease till 2011. So we will be there for the WC! I’m talking about a secound store in SA.

  111. Brand
    What? Realist? Racist? Alarmist?
    Anyway, my heart still bleeds for

    Grrr. Had a look – great. We should meet with Donner at the V&A when you are here.

  112. Shields

    I said somewhere today, that the sad part with ’emotional control’ is the perseption that you can not or are not allowed to be way off the cart emotional.

    I have parents taking me on because I am soooo ’emotional’ with theri precious little rugby boys 17-18 year olds.

    Ohter parents want to know how I control/subdue my anger when my sone did something ‘wrong’?

    I tell them they must never tone down ther anger when confronting their child. They are shocked.

    I the illustrate it with a counter-example asking them if it ever work? (hear a soft, squeeky kind of voice – not a trace of anger)
    “Jannie, you have been a very naughty boy today, Daddy is very upset with you my little one. I don’t want you to do that ever again. So I am now going to ‘piets’ your ‘boudjies’ OK my lovely?”

    By now they are rolling in stiches – get a few glare often as well.

    No way, you have to communicate thet they have violated one of your values and that kind of behaviour will never be tolerated in you house.

    Then you have to validate them as son or daughter – apart – from the behaviour.

    And now you deal with the behaviour – not the person.

    Just today I wacked my son’s bum – because he called himself an idiot.
    Not allowed in my household -he is too precious for that – so behaviour out you go take a hike.

  113. I wonder if the first week of a bok sqaud get-together revolves around ‘how to shut out the fans’? In SA you simply have to win 16 ina row before the entire country get behind you and loan behold you then lose the 17th. Then its back to square one.

    I don think it has anything to do with us being ‘a nation of winners’ etc.

    Comment by shields — October 18, 2006 @ 9:55 pm |Edit This


    It’s no different in any other country.

    SA is more emotionally charged because, quite obviously, we have more issues. Other than that, most sports fans, of any sport, anywhere in the world, are pretty much the same.

    At the end of the day, human beings are human beings – be it in Tarkastad or Trinidad.

    If players cannot take the heat, the solution is self-evident and simple. Raising your head above the parapet means you are likely to attract the great and the good, the nutters and the fruits, the rational and the malignant.

    These guys are getting paid a lot of money at a very young age, sure the criticisms may be tough to handle but they’ll live and learn and, in time, thank their lucky stars for the 4 or 5 or 6 or 7 or 8 million rand they made in their 20’s plus their nationwide profile.

  114. Ahhhaaa there you are Ras.

    How do you guys see in such detail using Goolge Earth?

    And I am not comfy using the bloOdy BOLD or ITALICS.

    I do not really know how to switch it off. The explanation yesterday went over this old head.

  115. “Jannie, you have been a very naughty boy today, Daddy is very upset with you my little one. I don’t want you to do that ever again. So I am now going to ‘piets’ your ‘boudjies’ OK my lovely??

    For the voice alone, never mind the actions, The Manager, in the UK you would go straight to the police station, without passing begin, without picking up R200 and despite all your protestations that you love and care for your child, or it’s future.

    A ‘piets’ to the ‘boudjies’ will get you very, very close to having your children put in foster care.

    And I’m not joking.

  116. Ras but why do we allow our provincial teams so much more scope?

    I liked the way Liverpool fans stood by their team and got rewarded with THAT cahmpions league win!

  117. Yes Ras I know.

    Norway is even worse.

    Now at least they are starting to complain about the brats and juvenile delinquents.

    Glad for my son’s sake we are still in good old RSA.

    He is absolutely an amazing kid.

  118. Brand
    Let’s see how I am at explaining:

    You have to insert the letter b inbetween <> at the start of the bold passage. To end bold, you do /b inbetween <>.
    For italics, replace b with i.
    Now that should be clear – from one old head to another

  119. The Brand

    Google Earth – It’s tiresome but if you keep focussing in and in and in slowly in various parts of the world, you’ll sometimes see little rectangular boxes, even in poor resolution areas.

    Delve into those boxes and the secrets are revealed!

    A far simpler way is to turn on the Google Earth Community, go to the GEC page and simply click on the links they provide!!!

    On the bolds and italics, it couldn’t be simpler…

    If you’ve typed something in bold – end it with a < and then a / and then a b and then a >

    Likewise for italics, except don’t use a B, rather use a I.

    Ignore all stars in this and it’ll look like this:

    < */*b*>

  120. And BTW – don’t mind Wes.
    He carries a lot of baggage where he comes from – but not nearly so much as the older generation.
    So he tends to get emotional when I criticise players that are not lilywhite, and tends to miss my criticism at the lilywhites.

  121. OK Brand – let’s see if you understand.
    Type the word “bold” in bold and then follow with the word “italic” in italics

  122. Ras
    What makes me wonder:
    Why does the generation that grew up with discipline, including a good spank from time to time, and reaps the benefits –
    Why do they want to raise their kids differently?
    Or has the whole world just gone for an ultra-humanitarian loop?

  123. Boertjie

    Ek het ook so gevoel.

    Ek dink die hele donners wereld het humanists bedonnerd geraak.

    Ek is nie so gewild met die ouers nie.

    Die seuns kom na ‘n ruk agter ek gee regtig om dat hulle hul volle potensiaal realiseer en dan is die Kaaps Hollands.

    So ja die Baby Boomers is vinnig besig om die wereld op te donner vir hul eie kinders – vir wie hule dit goed bedoel.
    Die ou se ding – se net iets is die waarheid lank genoeg en ‘almal’ glo dit, of wat.

  124. A Nee A!

    Waatoe fok djulle dan nou!!!!????

    Grrrr…. Djy’s ‘n donnerse Leeu en djy gebruik ‘n Cheetah om djou besigheid the bemark!!!:shock:????

    Ney, something issie lekka nie.

  125. Hello Boertjie,

    Very good question regarding the kids.

    I sometimes come across as an uber-liberal and in truth very few things bug me too much but I still raise my kid the way I was. I cannot stand violence etc. yet I smack my child cause it simply works!

  126. I dont think its wise to smack th kids when you are angry, be it at them or at someone else. But as far as discipline go its pretty spot on.

  127. Shields

    Correction of the behaviour with truth and unconditional acception of the person with love .

    Because I love my child I will not accept unenhancing behaviour or condone such.

  128. Shields

    My policy was to always smack when the toddler is putting his life in danger.
    Just yesterday there was a little brat running into a busy street with the mother in tow.
    The brat should have been smacked right there. I felt like snotklapping the mother.

  129. what are you okes talking about re google earth? Do you suggest its possible to see clearer than say 80m above the picture as it is with Jozi etc?

  130. Ja Brand something like that. I am very satisfied with how my 14 month old is responding to discipline. They understand so much more than we think so we should not take crap from them re discipline!

  131. Please explain Google. I am an addict (which is why I sometimes post slowly on RW). Let me know if there is something I can do to get more out of it (and dont say subscribe)

  132. Shields
    You are SO right – they are never too young to start being disciplined.
    Om dit uit te stel skep jy net kak vir almal.

  133. Shields

    What I just said to you is some of the ‘higher’ frame-shifting TG and myself use when working with people.

    You did well there.

    The secret is and always will be – you knew how to do it (smaking your kind ‘in’ anger not ‘with’ anger), I just showed you, that you know – and how to do it explicitly

  134. My son now slaps the naughty ahnd with the good hand. I just have to look at him with the angry stare, then he smacks the naughty hand softly and says ‘shappa’.

    Its great to watch and I believe not too bad for his development because he disciplines himself.

  135. No man, I’m busy you know! Multitasking! hehehe

    So how are you guys? Howzit shields dude!

    Stil cant get over that Grrrr … I’m a Cheetah thingy.

  136. No serious boertjie I can be embedded in the most intense discussion on RW and then see something in the Virgin Islands that sends my mind awry! I cannot wait to see where this tech will take us in 5 years! I even thought about starting a company that uses a helicopter to circle certain areas and take 3D pictures of all the most viewed sites on Google earth. Want to invest?

  137. @ Shields’ son!
    Mrs B had this little routine when one of the kids threw a terrible tantrum.
    After a while (and sometimes a klap or two) she would tell her about the little girl that was visiting, and her horrible manners, and all the wrong things she did, and how ugly it was.
    “But I’m glad she’s left now. You don’t want to play with a bad girl like that, now would you?”
    And they reached total agreement – no hard feelings.

  138. Bach

    Ons is wel – moeg rondgehang maar wel.

    Good night for the last time.

    My wife swears it is only a SA thing to say cheers in the kitchen, and then at the car, and then as the people are about to drive out, and then to wave till they are out of sight.

  139. Leave Grrr alone. There is a Cheetah inside all of us.

    The Brand I love your analysis on taxi drivers! Hehe I think I caould have been a real good one. Once this dude who studied at the PUK came to work in Jozi and lodged with me. We drove to Melville and this taxi suddenly parked off on the left obstructing my friend.

    Obviously my country friend went beserk and shouted at the driver as we passed. The driver just calmly turned his head toward my friend and threw the collest middle finger ever!

  140. The Brand

    You said you are now getting technologically literate. Wait till you’ve got skype, forex trading dealbook, yahoo messenger, microsoft live net meeting, ggogle earth, ruggaworld and your favourite nude art open – all at the same time.

    Not even Kabamba can be in so many places at once!

  141. Bach whats up with these people who now get through on my skype without me ever ok’ing them? Usually some dude talking about the war in darfur before asking me if i have a pic? Pisses me off.

  142. When we are a visiting couple again, I swear this is what I’m gonna do:
    Get to the car with Mrs B, start the engine, and when she and the guestwife starts chatting, I will go inside and have another dop with my friend.

  143. Shields, these assholes try EVERYTHING to invade the internet. Pisses me off as well.

    Geez, thinking about it, maybe I must go sleep as well.

    Sorry for callin in so late but I saw there were still some lights on at RW and thought I might get lucky! :roll:

    Why are there no chicks chatting to us at night? We’re not all married you know!!??

  144. The trick is to, like the boys from Welkom,be so pissed by the time you want to go home that both wifes are too embarressed to make any more idol chatter!

  145. She is a born amd bred Kiwi girl.

    For the first time in ten years we are now, just now, starting to talk about maybe moving to NZ.

    The first couple of years she experience bliss in SA – ignorant bliss.

    Then I think it changed to excitement of living on the edge evey day.
    Her parents don’t handle it so well – she loved it.

    All the wild and wonderful places – the bush – to go, and all the wildlife – animal and human to experience.

    I think she has reached saturation point – and has been asking questions like: “when is enough , enough?” and “When is too close to us too close?”

    Just having had a baby girl brought it all to the surface as well.

    The boy is as tough as can be – but the baby girl in Africa?

  146. Shit, I just need to put up a pic here now!

    Donner and them will kill me!!! Nothing rude, Boertjie especially will just LOVE it!