Home Columnists ORACLE says: close and a cigar

ORACLE says: close and a cigar



The Oracle’s had a look at the ayahuasco plants of South America. She smoked them and had a vision.  

From balmy Southern climes

Shall come a great green army

Mixing the experience of grizzled

Veterans with the exuberance


Of youthful potency

And Lo shall these warriors

Come upon the wet and muddy

Shores of the Celtic lands


And there shall await the

Emerald Army of the O’s

At their head shall stand

Brian the O who shall


Challenge the Green Warriors

With his words of Celtic

“Come forth ye Green

Imposters! To be sure


Ye have come upon the wrong

Shore to make war and

Celebrate ye history

For lo though our women be


Ugly and the ale of our

Isle be foul here shall ye

Find men who war for life

Against the Anglo


And so shall it be with ye

That we shall defeat ye

Despite the great lineage

Ye bring


And the Green Warriors shall

Look to Jake the Jocular (for

That shall be his name

Henceforth) and see naught


But the General’s madness

And despair, but then shall

Step forth each and every

Green Warrior and sayeth


In unison:

“Lo though our generalissimo

Be afflicted with madness

Come we from a great lineage


Of Warriors, and see here shall

We honour their name and yea even

Weareth the uniforms that covered their

Backs in battle.


We come not just to make

War upon ye but to honour

Those who came before us

To fight for our Rainbow Nation.?


And then shall battle be joined.

Two great green oceans shall

Clash. The Emerald O’s shall

Fight for their nation


And the Rainbow Greens

Shall fight for their history

Pride and honour of their



And lo shall it come to pass that

The battle shall wage most

Ferociously in the trenches

With the great Footmen


And the Emerald O’s shall

Battle with speed and

Nimble feet while the Rainbow

Greens shall battle with power


And strength and there shall be

Naught to choose from them for in each

Warriors heart shall burn the

Passion to win.


But lo shall it come to pass

That the Emerald O’s shall

Tire and their nimble feet

Shall become like lead in mud


As the strength of the Rainbow

Greens sap their powers and then

Shall the tide of battle turn against

Brian O and his warriors


And in the mud of the shores of

The Emerald Celtic isle shall

Their leaden feet be overpowered

By the strength of the Rainbow


And ‘ere an hour hath passed

Shall the toils of battle tell

Upon the bodies of the men of

The Emerald Isle


And the End shall come

Swiftly upon them when

The two Brian’s clash and

Bryan shall emerge


In victory while the despair

Of defeat comes upon the

Emerald Isle’s Celts and they

Bow to defeat.


And lo shall the Rainbow men

Give thanks to all and be gracious

In victory and at their victory

Feast shall they give


Thanks and honour to the

Greatness of their forefathers

Whose passion inspired a

Victory whilst


Jake the Jocular shall cackle

In madness and be jocun

About his sons the

Fetchers of Ale.


So sayeth the Oracle

Hear ye Hear Ye!!


Facebook Comments


  1. There you go.

    She says we win.

    I agree

    But it’ll be a passion filled come from behind thing that has more to do with the hearts of the players than Joke

  2. Classic!

    One of the best yet.

    About his sons the

    Fetchers of Ale. :lol::lol:

    I also think we should win. Despite JAke telling our boys they’re not good enough and he doesnt expect them to win.

  3. Goodie Oracle although:

    Find men who war for life

    Against the Anglo

    Might be pushing it a bit for the BB.

    En Ballas se allas.

  4. Eish – Some Oirish girls are quite stunning!

    I dont think they look like the English

    Comment by Oranje Orakel — November 10, 2006 @ 12:25 pm

    Ooh Im not too sure about that.
    They have mingers just like the rest of europe… and some of those birds carry much too much testosterone for my liking.

    I’m old school – I dont thikn you can trust a dolly who can drink more than you…

  5. Pound for pound I reckon there are more hotties in Ireland than in most West European countries.

    Then again….Reykjavik….

    Hit me baby one more time!

  6. Saw a feature on the French Hugenots yesterday.

    Fascintaing stuff and gives a huge insight into the early settlers in SA.

  7. Look, Eastern Europe has got beauty tied up, big time!

    However, as Vinnie says, Holland has it’s fair share.

    Ireland too.

    Vienna has some corkers.

    London is improving rapidly with the influx of nearly a million East Europeans but the natives drag the average down badly.

    France has it’s pockets.

    Scandanavia produce their fair share of goddesses.

  8. Have to agree Ras.

    Especially on the eastern europeans. But i think they only let the lookers in.

    Which is great in itself – until you have to start talking to them. Nothing of interest there im afraid.

    Still make superb eye-candy though.

  9. Havent been to scandinavia or austria though.

    ausitria because I just havent got aorund to it and i think I need to starve my culturally for at least a month or two before going there.

    And scandinavia because I refuse to believe that people willingly live in a place even colder than the mud isle.

  10. Fascintaing stuff and gives a huge insight into the early settlers in SA.

    Comment by Vinnie — November 10, 2006 @ 12:58 pm

    Also something of a reality check Vinnie?

    Regarding the Irish women, perhaps I’m biased but I think I’ve seen more good looking women there than in RSA. Probably just Celtic genes talking it up though.

    I saw an item on the Hugenot movement on a public broadcaster channel in Washington that covered RSA as well. Quite a piece. At a point in time they were moved on like gypsies and Jews.

  11. Sarky,

    It basically explained why white south africans ahve this hardegat, never-say-die attitude.

    They were fighting for survival even before they landed here. And have been fighting ever sicne.

    Oh, and they were poor man. Very very poor people. And very very religious which was the reason fro the big move in the first place.

    So basically they were very poor, very religious, very hardegat peasants who arrived on our shores.

  12. will mail to your ruggaworld addy

    Comment by Oranje Orakel — November 10, 2006 @ 12:55 pm |Edit This

    Hehehehehehehe, sies, djou vark!

    Good one!

  13. Vinnie

    Not all were peasanos. The whole Hugenot movement came on the back of RC persecution. The story of “The Three Musketeers” by Alexandre Dumas (also a famous movie), was from that time. The Cardinal from that story was an actual historical figure.

    In those times, the normal thing was that the oldest son inherits title and land, the second is for the church, the third for the King’s army, and the rest go into business.

    Now the story with the Cardinal de Richlieu, was that he coveted the family heirloom, and the persecution was part and parcel to attaining his objectives.

    So with everything in life, there was a lot of politics, religion and greed attached.

  14. Few of the Hugenots were poor in France

    only after they were fleeced by the French and the Dutch were they poor

    The frenchies on the site will tell you that the dela Frenchies rate themselves quite high

    The lowly Delports- were once the De la Porte’s quite connected with the French Royalty

  15. Dudes,

    Im not referring to hugneots in general but specifically those that fled to the shores of sunny SA.

    Shedloads of hugenots fled to the uk but my understanding was that those that fled persecution fled with little more than a boat ticket and the clothes on their backs.

    That was after having to worship in secret and even having to perfomr burials in secret through fear of persecution and death from King Louis who decreed protestants as illegals and favouring Catholicism as the only religion in france.

    I’d appreciate opinion and facts as I’m no expert but simply find this subject very interetsing as there appears to be expat Hugenot communities in several countriea and they werent simply confined to SA as I thoguht when growing up.

  16. Hallo DubbeldOOr

    I share a surname with the very same Cardinal De Richlieu. I actually read up on this quite a bit.

  17. I agree vinnie

    When they landed here most of them were destitute

    And through “kromstaan” they have bettered their situation- as with any 1st generation immigrant- to anywhere!

  18. Thats very true OO.

    Its funny. The poms always used to say the saffas are hard-working. But its not really true.

    Its only the saffas trying to build a better life for themselves in another country that are so hard-working.

    I’ve never worked as hard as I’m doing right now. And its not because Im particluarly conscientous – its just I can see the opportunity and they cant because they’ve always had it.

  19. Its amazing BGG- I just cannot remember your surname know- …. ok I have it- quite an exalted surname in SA history as well

    these european surnames

    My surname dates from 1133- from Zurich wappenroll- oldest heraldic archive in Europe

  20. Vinnie

    No, I am also actually (honestly) related to the Walker family from a small town called Kilmarnock, in Scotland.

    The are famous for a different (and daresay more civilised), tipple.

    I enjoy that in copious quantities.

  21. BGG – are you a brandy?

    As a man whose ancestors often found themselves discriminated against because of their Catholicism, I am nevertheless entirely sympathetic of the lot of the Huguenots. My visit to the Huguenot museum was a moving experience.

    However I do get a little irritated at the ersatz-French tourist traps in Franschhoek. The Huguenots were dour, Calvinist types who certainly did not match the Gallic profile most people assume. Hardly represents them at all.

  22. In the amateur era a bok side stripped of half its regulars would have enough to win.

    But not now. Winning in Ireland is hard. They are a well drilled and prepared unit. Last time England were in Ireland they almost won. Despite K*plan deciding to apply the laws of the game to one team only. But that is the English for you; stoic and resilient. The boks will instead crumble because the players dont have the appetite for it.

    If the boks win they’ll be favourites to beat England and that aint going to happen not for at least a generation.

    Ireland 32
    Boks 9

  23. Postie

    Richelieu is a title, not a family name.

    It is not the Hugenots per se that was dour. All zealots is dour, whether religious zealots or any other.

  24. Flashman-esque if you dont mind.

    With an impressive set of whiskers, an upright resolute posture, a straight back and a gaze that extends into the distance. I also demand to be adorned with an impressively tailored cut of cloth.

  25. no problem St Mike- that is very Albion like

    The minds eye will be quite confortable with that description

    – the footwear- would a pair of bright shining Wellington boots do- acompanied by a riding crop- I would say- very much a Tallyhoo kind of outfit.. all in her Majestie’ s best Khaki of course…

    Would you like to be mounted or on foot- with a butler in attendance?

    Can i suggest a mauve handkerchief as well?

  26. BGG,

    Yeah I’ve looked into mine somewhat but have so many differing lineages its not even funny.

    I trace my surname back to the Firth of Forth in Scotalnd.

    But my gran was German.

    And my moms folks can be traced all the way to when some Sir or somehting put foot in SA.

    So a bit of a mixed bag for me I’m afriad.

  27. and 110 % SHARK!

    ahh die Duiwel se slypsteen- good olde Sir Theophilus Shepstone

    Neewat dis Duits Duits Duits Bengaal

    vir my en dan so ietsie wat OOkal hier innie Kaap was vir my

    Dis hoekom ek Volkswagen ry en my Broadband by Neotel gaan kry

  28. On Flashman

    Rasputin’s Cuz had sprechen the following

    Reviewer: A reader
    It is hard to believe that this first book of the Flashman series is now nearly 30 years old. Written as if it is an actual published memoir (later books put “a novel” on the cover, probably to protect the publisher from receiving annoying letters of shock and outrage from the truly ignorant and profoundly clueless). This is a book for lovers of historical fiction, military fiction, or British history, but will be enjoyed by those who otherwise would never read in these areas. They are books of humor, following a knave and poltroon — Harry Flashman — as he stumbles into many of the great events of the 19th century (often fleeing irate husbands). Events he has visted so far include Little Big Horn, the Chinese Boxer Rebellion, the Indian Mutiny, the American slave trade, and the Prussian court where he was forced to act as a royal imposter. To the world he is seen as a great heroic figure, a development that Flashman finds hilarious yet endlessly useful. This first book introduces the Flashman character, beginning with his being expelled from school, forced into the British Army, and suddenly finding himself in the midst of the disasterous British Afghan campaign. The only books that ever left me laughing harder were the original three books of what should have remained the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy “trilogy” by Douglas Adams. Highly recommended, though with this warning: reading this book and its successors will leave you considerably more educated about the important events of the last century without you even realizing it is happening

  29. hehehe RobD

    i am just a realist Boet

    and my family from both sides is in this country for longer than 250 years- so there is not a to bullshit with

    Sadly no Celtic bLOOd- so I am trying to rectify that with me whiskey intake

  30. Hey dude – its a well-known fact that jewish men have poor hair retention.
    Comment by Vinnie — November 10, 2006 @ 3:05 pm

    Jeez vinnie is that is true I should have had a barmitzvah!

  31. BGG,

    Het maar net genoem. Ek het nooit besef die ouderdom het jou geheue so baie aangetas nie

    I am half Dutch and half French, so moenie met my donner nie.

  32. Eish read this

    Early life

    Rabodoandrianampoinimerina was born into the Menabe tribe somewhere between 1782 and 1790. Little is known of Ranavalona’s early life, but it was during her first years that the King Andrianampoinimerina was attempting to unite Madagascar’s various factions under a single crown. The king of the Menabe ruled the western portion of the island, and he was unwilling to unify. Because of this, Andrianampoinimerina’s successor, Ramada I, did the next best thing by marrying the eldest daughter of Andrian-Tsala-Manjaka and his wife Rabodo Andrian-Tampo. During the early years of the union, little is mentioned of her, but a physical description follows, taken from George MacDonald Fraser’s novel Flashman’s Lady (a work of fiction).

    She might have been anywhere between forty and fifty, rather round-faced, with a small straight nose, a fine brow, and a short, broad-lipped; her skin was jet black and plump – and then you met her eyes, and in a sudden chill rush of fear realized that all you had heard was true, and the horrors you’d seen needed no further explanation. They were small and bright and evil as a snake’s, unblinking, with a depth of cruelty and malice that was terrifying.

    — George MacDonald Fraser

    She was married to Radama when she was little older than a child, and was suspected of poisoning her husband. Radama left no descendants when he died and Ranavalona took the throne in 1828 after eliminating any potential rivals.

    Reign as Queen

    After becoming Queen, Ranavalona had most of her relatives assassinated. She persecuted and expelled foreigners, including the island’s missionaries, in 1835, and extended her rule all over the island with her 20,000-man army. Ranavalona was a violent persecutor of Christians; after expelling the missionaries failed to eradicate Christianity from her island, she began a gruesome scourging of the land. All people who possessed a bible, or outwardly claimed to be Christian, were executed. Some were trussed up like chickens and thrown from hilltops repeatedly until they died. Others were dressed in the bloody skins of animals and had hunting dogs set upon them. Some were yoked together like cattle and placed in the thick tangled jungles of Madagascar where they would break their necks trying to get free, or would get caught in the undergrowth and starve to death. However, Ranavalona’s favorite method of execution was to have a prisoner placed in a pit at the bottom of a hill and have her soldiers, at the top of the hill, tip over pots of boiling water; when the water reached the pit, it would slowly rise up and boil the prisoner alive.

    Queen Ranavalona died hated by her subjects and foreign countries alike, although a few revisionists have given her some credit for preserving traditional forms of poetry. She was mother of King Radama II, who succeeded her.

    Meanings in Madagascar by Oyvind and Yvind Dahl
    Madagascar Rediscovered by Mervin Brown.

    Categories: 1782 births | 1861 deaths | Malagasy monarchs

  33. Me part German, part German, part German and then part German Jew….

    So I also belong in a synogogue with Rob

    I’m 4th generation South African


    I’ve met 4th generation Germans who still chooz ze Bratwurst over ze braai unt spick ze lankwich

    I think they suck.

    Oh, and I know I can trace my lineage back to some freaking Sherman composer called Louis Spohr, who was a student of Beethoven or JS Bach or something and often played at the English court…

  34. Serious Clayton?

    Which wit baas steeked one of your ancestors?

    One of my ancestors was executed in the Anglo Boer War apparently because the stupid sonofabitch spied for the Boere in the Cape apparently and got caught.

  35. But to get back to Mick Chicks

    I’ve never met a looker one

    And although we’ve been given the Corrs there are more than enough to prove she’s a fluke.

    I understand Beligian chicks are hotties though…

    Then again my best friend’s a Belgian chick so I may be prejudiced.

    But no

    The healthy and hot fmeale species cannot grow to full fruition on an island frequented by rain and mud and potato eating coupled with no sex before marriage and Guiness beer

  36. Eish DavidS- you are indeed touchy on this subject

    Everyone can have an opinion on their past- some would even try to romanticise it a bit- maybe down to the lack of romantic activities in their own mundane lives- but

    in the end it boils down to

    “A ship do not sail on yesterday’s wind”

    In the end this I would believe – chats like this afternoon-rather celebrates our sameness- rather than our differences

  37. often played at the English court…
    Comment by DavidS — November 10, 2006 @ 3:47 pm

    Btw that would have probaly made him a student of Georg Friedrich Handel

    enjoy the weekend

  38. Thanks OO

    Like I said I had no idea who the oke was a student of.

    Wait let me ask my aunt, she knows more about this character.

    One thing I can say is that almost everyone in my family has some sort of a fricking musical talent

    Aside from me.

    I couldn’t tell rhythm from the rhythm method

  39. The Oracle,
    good one sister sledge, hope so.

    the hugenuts were also a very industrious and cultured lot, where our wine industry sprung out of and many other trades, which they were masters at. they dominated the textile and cotton spinning trades in London.

    Nah, i understand that the early dutch settlers were mostly criminal rabble that the DEIC used as sailors, but the hugenots offered plenty. we might have some criminal roots as well, but at least no penal colonies. the poms came later at the end of the napoleonic wars 1820 and the subsequent diamond and gold rushes, and this was all interspersed with german missionaries. fascinating the history.

  40. cab,

    Part of the docu I watched told the story of hugenots in the london spinning industry and how it went for a ball of shit as soon as the industry became mechanised.

    Our lot are one helluva mixed lot but then even the english arent really english.

    There has been one helluva lot of inter-cultural breeding through the ages.

    Think our lot have also been fashioned on genetics including survival of the fittest (on the ships) and a foolhardy drive to improve one’s lot in life.

    As OO said, the lot of most imigrants.

  41. nah vinnie, of course not, thats why when StM talk about henry fotherington smythe with such regard, its a bit riduclous considering theyre basically german and french (the enemy).

    Hell, anglo-saxon itself is derived from two germanic tribes, and England was occupied by the italians and most recently by France (the mother country), where the english ariostocrasy were norman and spoke french. if you want culture, its france you go to, but we like england cos they have beer.

  42. and we can piss in the streets when we’ve had too much beer…mind you, one can do that in France too.

    these european countries are great.

  43. cab,

    I got stoppped and almost arrested about 2 weeks ago.

    Picture this – I had a beer in one hand and a half smoked zol in the other but they give me a bollocking because I stopped behind a bush to relieve myself.


    Tried yout BT routine the toher night. But unfortuantely I wasnt the first one there…

  44. cab,

    I love the laz attitude towards petty things like this in europe. Its awesome.

    In the states you have to drink from a brown bag and if you sway when you walk, or dont follow the red hand and green hand when crossing the road, you get arrested.
    What a shite way to live.

  45. lol Vinnie, only in Britain, i’m suprised the cop didn’t join you for some pipe…you CT boys love that stuff.

    the states is ridiclous? saw a sign which said $1000 fine for loitering, what the hell is that?

    BT routine?

  46. yeah cab – they used to have that in SA too.

    I also have a big problme with that even thoguh its purpose is to protect me.

    It basically criminalises “doing nothing”.

    ITs the weirdest place I’ve ever been to. Everythign is so strictly regulated its not even funny.

    Surely its preposterous to fine somebody for simply standing in a place? So much for civil liberties.

    And surely if I want to cross the road in a riskier fashion than my gran I should be allowed to?

    California takes the cake thoguh – no open fires. ie. no braai. ever. how kak is that.

  47. hehehe…i’m with you, yeah those post boxes are filthy hovels, when one has had a few one can easily mistake them for public urinals.

    you going to landsdowne 2moro?

  48. nah no landsdowne for me.

    sort of glad i didnt bother getting tickets as i’ve been laid up in bed all week.

    Got tickets and def going to the game next saturday and looking to score tickets for the second game tomorrow.

  49. you are kidding, i cant honstely believe we had that in SA.

    yeah US is madness. dove into a pool, big gasping, apparantly no diving, one has to enter from the steps. yet they’d happilly preserve their right to carry an arsenal of automatic weapons.

    no, staying put, waiting for the RWC in 10 months, going to take the whole month off if can. oh well enjoy the game 2moro, predictions or should i not ask?

  50. Yeah we had it but it was more of an excuse for the apartheid’s police force to break heads. Stupid and extremely discriminating.

    As for the US what I cant understand is why Iran cant develop nuclear weapons if the US already has them.
    Surely the US can only complain about another country developing nuclear weapons when they get rid of their own.

    Yet nobody ever brings this up. I dont understand. Thankfully Bush is now as useless as (in cab’s immortal words) a third tit on a chicken.

  51. The poms have one third of all cc tv cameras on the planet.

    Yet theys till have a problme with street crime. Boggles the mind.

  52. Vinnie

    That’s the yank reasoning too. In some parts of America (mostly the south) loitering is defined as passing the same point twice within an hour without reason (ie doing one’s work).

    Basically designed to nail blacks.

  53. F*kkit… Ek het nou net agter gekom ek weet nie eers wie speel more nie. Kan iemand my dalk inlig. Goeie of k@k span…

  54. Goeie of k@k span…

    Comment by Grrrr…. I’m a Lion! — November 10, 2006 @ 5:23 pm

    You talking about us or the opposition?

  55. hehehe vinnie…not me who coigned that wonderful turn of phrase. have’nt been following the US elections, ignorant, so is Bush out, the democrats win? going to have a helluva problem getting their army out.

    yeah the aussies seem to becoming very americanized, in some ways the regulations good, for example at least when you go into their hospitals for a fracture, you dont come out with MRSA or some other leperous afflictition. what i want to know is how the hell one can end up with such a shitty health system with all that money being thrown it, or are they just prone to whinging.

  56. grrr…not sure if they’ve announced the actual team list but looks to be:

    1. larry 2. smitty 3. CJ
    4. Ackers 5. Al
    6. PK 7. Juan 8. Spies

    9. Ric 10. AP
    12. JdV 13. Habs
    11. Jaco P 14. Steyn 15. Fortuin

  57. Nee Grrr, was toe nie akuraat nie…..

    Nie self gesien nie, maar blykbaar het die Leeus die finansiêle state beskikbaar gestel en is nog heel alright in die dept…….

  58. Nee Grrr, was toe nie akuraat nie…..

    Nie self gesien nie, maar blykbaar het die Leeus die finansiêle state beskikbaar gestel en is nog heel alright in die dept…….

    Comment by Hmmm — November 10, 2006 @ 6:08 pm

    Bly om dit te hoor!!!!

  59. Friends tonight, programming of a cricket scoreboard thereafter, and some again tomorrow, then out for the afternoon/early evening, rugby rugby rugby and sunday playing cricket, to test out our new electronic laptop scoring and stats and rating counter…..

  60. Nah there’s a comment counter and then there’s that other counter thing.

    The the other one also counts articles etc.

    The one on the left is for the HOF.

  61. Ok….can bowl and bat….

    But very hot and cold….

    Can knock a good 50 at quick pace and in the same game take 4/19 in my 8 and the next go out for a 6 ball duck, drop 2 catches and be smacked for 24 from two and not be asked to bowl another….hehehe

  62. I can actually bowl terrible balls that are smacked and then in the same over bowl unplayable del and take a wicket or two….

  63. Hmmm,

    The actual amount of comments left is the number displayed by the counter. It differs from the number you see when holding the cursor over your comment, because of deleted spam comments. You will see the difference grow constantly.

    In May June the growth was shocking. Spammers targeted this site asif we were the only website outthere.

    They got blacklisted though so no risk now. Jsut the odd one or two making it appearance.

  64. Check the thread today “Top of the pile”

    THat lists the posters who made the most comments.

    I will publish the complete list next week then you can see how far behind you are.

  65. Jinne, I most probably don’t even make the top 100….

    I post quite a bit elsewhere and have only posted 8000 odd since Feb……

  66. I once wrote a book called How to Keep an Idiot Entertained for Hours. It went like this: To keep an idiot entertained for hours, read the next sentence. To keep an idiot entertained for hours, read the previous sentence.” It didn’t sell very well. I thought with the short attention span of people these days it may have been too long, so I rewrote it. The 2nd edition went: “To keep an idiot busy for hours, re-read this sentence.” It’s doing pretty good. I have a deal for the sequel. The 3rd edition is going to go: “Re-read this line.” Now, if I could just find the time to write it.

  67. One day, the Captain of the 40-oared royal barge goes down to speak to the slaves in the hold of his ship. “Men, I have some good news and some bad news. The good news is, the Queen will be joining us today for a trip up the Nile.” The men cheered and rattled their chains. “The bad news is, she wants to go water skiing.”

  68. Two friends meet each other on the street. “hello! Where are you coming from?” asked Bill. “Oh, don’t ask me! I’m coming from the cemetery. I just burried my mother-in-law” replied Sid. “I’m so sorry!” said Bill, “But why is your face schratched all over?”. “It wasn’t so easy!” said Sid, “She put on a hell of a fight!”

  69. Donner, I posted my predictions on the comp thread…was I correct cause a read absolutely nothing in the “article”….

  70. When you ask a housewife, accountant, and lawyer what 2+2 is, what do they give you?

    The housewife says “Four.” The accountant says “It’s either three or four, let me run it through my spreadsheet again.” The lawyer closes the shutters, turns down the lights, and whispers “What do you want it to be?”

  71. this man went to a whore house. he had no arms and no legs. When the madam answered the door she asked what he wanted. He said that he wanted a woman. She replyed you have no arms and no legs what can you do? With that he replyed I rang the door bell didn’t I?

  72. “Hey Bill, I heard you can download the whole Tyson-Holyfield fight off the internet”. “No kidding? How much memory will it take up?”. “Not much, just two Bytes.”

  73. This is a passenger announcement. The train on platform one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven and twelve has come in sideways

  74. A little boy walks in on his parents in the middle of a romantic interludeand asks if he can hop on his daddy’s back. The father doesn’t see any harm, so he agrees, and they continue. When things started to really heat up the little boy leaned down and whispered in his father’s ear, “Hold on tight, daddy, this is usually where me and the postman get bucked off.”

  75. I believe in making the world safe for our children. But not our children’s children, because I don’t think chilldren should be having sex.

  76. A man visits the doctor. The doctor says “I have bad news for you.You have cancer

    ……and Alzhiemer’s disease”.

    The man replies “Well,thank goodness I don’t have cancer!”

  77. Two men were changing in the locker room after a game of tennis. One notices the other one is putting on pair of stockings and suspenders. He says “When did you start wearing them?” To which the other man replies “Since my wife found a pair on the back seat of the car.”

  78. There was this Eskimo girl who spent the night with her boyfriend and next morning found out that she was six months pregnant

  79. I always look for a woman who has a tattoo. I see a woman with a tattoo, and I’m thinking, okay, here’s a girl who’s capable of making a decision she’ll regret in the future.

  80. A nun says to Mother Superior, “There’s a case of syphilis in the convent!” Mother Superior says, “That’s great, I was getting tired of the Chablis.”

  81. The company sergent is briefing the recruits: “For the next ten weeks the commanding officer will be your father, and I will be your mother. Incidentally we are not married, so you know what that makes you…”

  82. A couple is lying in bed.
    Man: “I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world.”
    Woman: “I’ll miss you.”

  83. Ever notice when you blow in a dog’s face he gets mad at you, but when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window?

  84. (To the tune of ‘Yesterday’)

    Leprocy, bits and pieces falling off of me,

    I’m not half the man I used to be,

    Oh I contracted Leprocy.

  85. Don’t kwow Cab,
    everyone is loopy.
    Normal for hmmm;
    the Russian is posting one bad joke
    after anpther and
    Donner is even worse.

  86. A husband said to his wife ‘Get your coat on love, it’s time to ge down the pub’. She replied ‘But you NEVER take me out’. ‘I’m not,’ said the husband, ‘but I’m turning the heating off before I go.’

  87. Boss: (too employee) Experts say that humour on the job relieves tension in this time of down-sizing, Knock, knock.

    Employee: Who’s there?

    Boss: Not you anymore.

  88. Confucius say, man who live in glass house, should change in basement
    Confucius say, man who shoot off mouth, must expect to lose face
    Confucius say, man with big mouth beware of foot
    Confucius say, man who fart in church, sit in own pew
    Confucius say, woman who fly upside down have crack up

  89. Confucius say, house without bathroom is uncanny
    Confucius say, foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ
    Confucius say, man who sits on stool smells like shit
    Confucius say, man who throws dirt is losing ground

  90. A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “That’s the ugliest baby that I’ve ever seen. Ugh!? The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: “The driver just insulted me!? The man says: “You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I’ll hold your monkey for you.?

  91. Confucius say, woman who go to man’s apartment for snack, get titbit
    Confucius say, man who lay woman on ground, get piece on earth
    Confucius say, man who get kicked in testicles, left holding the bag
    Confucius say, man who kisses girl’s behind, get crack in face

  92. Two cows in a field. One says to the other ‘What do you think about this mad cow desease?’ The other one replies ‘Blimey! a talking cow!’

  93. A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer. His friend says: “Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man.? The man then replies: “Yeah, well we were married 35 years.?

  94. Confucius say, OK for shit to happen – will decompose
    Confucius say, man with head on railroad track, listening for train to come, get splitting headache
    Confucius say, man who sneeze without tissue take matter into own hands

  95. An old lady owned two monkeys. One day they both died, so she took them to the taxodermist, ‘So you want them mounted?’ asked the taxidermist. To which she replied ; ‘No. Holding hands will do just fine.’

  96. Confucius say, woman who dance wearing jock strap, have make believe ballroom
    Confucius say, support bacteria – is only culture some people have
    Confucius say, man with athletic finger, make broad jump

  97. A general noticed one of his soldiers behaving oddly. The soldier would pick up any piece of paper he found, frown and say: “That’s not it? and put it down again. This went on for some time, until the general arranged to have the soldier psychologically tested. The psychologist concluded that the soldier was deranged, and wrote out his discharge from the army. The soldier picked it up, smiled and said: “That’s it.?

  98. Confucius say, men may have more hair on chest than woman, but on the whole, women have more
    Confucius say, woman wearing G-string, high on crack
    Confucius say, virgin with thimble on finger, never feel prick
    Confucius say, man who pull woman’s bra strap, may get bust in face
    Confucius say, woman who pounce on dead rooster, go down on limp cock
    Confucius say, man who fall in vat of molten glass, make spectacle of self
    Confucius say, man who jump through screen door, strain self
    Confucius say, man who push piano down mine shaft, likely to get A flat minor

  99. The crap talkers on this thread……(up to post @ 8:18)

    In descending order…

    Comment by Hmmm — Novembe 127
    Comment by Donner — Novem 53
    Comment by Vinnie — Novem 39
    Comment by Oranje Orakel 30
    Comment by Rasputin — Nov 27
    Comment by robdylan© — No 17
    Comment by bluegreengold 11
    Comment by Duiwel — Novem 11
    Comment by cab — November 10
    Comment by DavidS — Novem 9
    Comment by Grrrr…. I’m 7
    Comment by il postino — N 6
    Comment by Provincejoulek 5
    Comment by Sarky — Novemb 2
    Comment by StMichel — Nov 2
    Comment by Ballas — Novem 1
    Comment by danie — Novemb 1
    Comment by Grrrr…. I’m a 1

  100. Nee GBS,
    ek het nie met hom kontak nie.
    Hy sal my wel vind as hy wil.
    hy weet waar ek is.

    what about the model babe
    in lord of war.

  101. Hehehe there are more chicks on this site than on pichunter! You are a bunch of dirty old men!

    How is everyone. I am chilled. Have a good feeling about the game, just like the oracle. And no Ras, Ireland has a minger/beauty ration of about 5000:1

  102. Pitty the irish dont like it much at all Donner. They say its a Pop song and are reluctant to sing the tune out loud during matches.

  103. Donner, I will leave you with these words from U2 frontman bono: “You glorify the past when your future dries up.” – from God part 2, Rattle`n Hum

  104. Its testimony to our great new country that every clown who wants to youtube that song can do so without fear. So go ahead my friend, we are all free now. Whatever rocks your boat.

    I know you are taking the piss though.

  105. Shields,

    No offense, but you should really take the broomstick out of your arse and grow a sense of humour.

    To show disregard for your own history, won’t allow you to appreciate the future. And that is my own words.

  106. Heheh come now Donner I know you were joking. I can appreciate my history by reading a history book, I dont need to cry in my brandy over an old anthem thank you.

  107. Imagine the amount of beautiful women we could have purchased from Russia with fighter jet budget. Somehow i think the former would have gone to more use!

  108. Okay, for perspective you’ll need to watch this video first:


    Then read this guy’s reply.

    interjunkshit (1 month ago)

    my gunsteling kleur is blou. ek supersize partykeer my meal as ek genoeg geld het. maar meeste van die tyd maak ek maar net my veters vas met my linker hand.

    more is maandag en oormore is dinsdag. gister is verby. kom oor jouself.

    What is the sound of one hand clapping?


  109. Women only just pips a beautiful jet fighter when it comes to beauty.

    Comment by Donner — November 10, 2006 @ 11:06 pm |Edit This

    Sjoe, boet, your priorities need a little fine tuning!

  110. Shields,

    Than maybe you should try to appreciate your heritage and not try to fit in that much. Going against the stream is not always that bad.

    Our history is tarnished with people who tried to jsut fit in by following the stream.

  111. Die Engelse kan maar hulle seëninge tel

    Almal weet dat e = mc2, maar niemand weet wat dit regtig beteken nie. Behalwe miskien vir Albert Einstein, en hy’s dood. En Stephen Hawking, natuurlik, maar dié sukkel ‘n bietjie om lekker te verduidelik.

    As ek reg onthou, het my Wetenskap-juffrou my probeer leer dat dit alles iets te doen het met energie en die spoed van lig en, en, uhmmm… watookal. Ook bekend as die Relatiwiteitsteorie. Relatief moeilik, as jy my vra.

    Drie minute in die geselskap van ‘n pragtige meisie is relatief kort, maar drie minute in jou baas se kantoor is relatief lank. Een haar op jou kop is relatief min, maar een haar in jou sop is relatief baie. Dis ‘n relatief goeie jaar vir die ekonomie, hierdie: swakker as laasjaar, miskien, maar ten minste beter as die jaar wat voorlê…

    Dís die tipe relatiwiteitsteorie wat vir my sin maak.

    Van my vriende werk in die beleggingswêreld. Feitlik alles wat hulle doen word gemeet – gewoonlik in relatiewe terme. Party van hulle probeer om een of ander aandele-indeks te klop. Vir ander is dit belangrik om meer geld te maak as wat jy op ‘n bankdeposito sou kon verdien. Die res is tevrede as hulle beter presteer as die firmas waarmee hulle kompeteer.

    Met ander woorde dis een of ander relatiewe standaard wat geld, vir almal van hulle.

    ‘n Portefeuljebestuurder loop ‘n vriend van hom raak wat in dieselfde industrie werk. Is jy gelukkig getroud, vra die kêrel. Relatief tot wat, kom die teenvraag oombliklik.

    Dis hoe die meeste van ons ook ons lewens inrig. Dis immers hoekom die Engelse praat van “keeping up with the Joneses?. Maak nie saak hoe goed of sleg dit met ons gaan nie, maak nie saak hoe arm of ryk ons is nie, solank ons net beter doen as ons bure of ons vriende of ons kollegas of ons ouer sussie of ons jonger boetie of ons ouers, toe hulle so oud was soos wat ons nou is.

    Of die Joneses – wie op aarde hulle ookal is.

    Jy ken mos daai flou grappie van Kallie Knoetze en Mike Schutte in die leeupark toe die Landrover breek en Kallie sy hardloopskoene aantrek. Mike wil hom doodlag want hy weet dat Kallie nie vir die leeus sal kan weghardloop nie, maar ‘n selfvoldane Kallie weet dat hy net vinniger as Mike hoef te hardloop.

    Ja-nee, relatiewe prestasie is al wat saakmaak.

    Van kleins af word dit by ons ingeprent. Wie staan eerste in die klas? Watter seuntjie of dogtertjie hardloop vinniger as die res? Spring verder? Of hoër? Of teken mooier? Of sing ouliker? Of sê beter gediggies op?

    Dit alles is deel van Maslow se hiërargie van behoeftes. Nadat ons uiting gegee het aan dit wat ons nodig het om te oorleef op ‘n basiese vlak, probeer ons voortplant. Daarna kom ons sosiale hunkering aan die beurt (met ander woorde ons wil deel wees van een of ander groep).

    Maar die hoogste strewe van alles, is die ego: ons probeer uitstaan binne die groep.

    Dis hoekom die ryk mense in die duur huise teen die koppies bly. Dis hoekom Sol Kerzner met die een model en skoonheidskoningin na die ander trou. Dis hoekom Russiese olieboewe die sokkerklubs opkoop.

    Dit is die Engelse pers wat my die afgelope maand of wat aan die dink gesit het oor die hele begrip van relatiwiteit. Die laaste paar weke kan jy mos nie ‘n koerant oopmaak nie, of jy sien een of ander berig oor ‘n aansitterige Tony Blair se laaste dae as Engelse premier en die norse Gordon Brown wat hom in alle waarskynlikheid gaan opvolg. Of dalk David Cameron, ‘n japsnoet met rooi wangetjies, as die Tories hulle sin kry.

    En almal is in sak en as. Die Arbeidersparty gooi klippe na Cameron se kant toe, want dié is besig om voor te loop in die meningspeilings ten spyte van ‘n skreiende gebrek aan enige duidelike beleidspunte. Net vir ingeval, berei die Konsertawiewe Party hulle voor op die ondenkbare: ‘n vierde agtereenvolgende nederlaag by die stembus, en vyf jaar se regering onder leiding (of moet ek sê lyding?) van ‘n vervelige Skot wat nie weet hoe om te glimlag nie. Intussen veg Menzies Campbell en sy Liberaal-Demokratiese kollegas vir oorlewing.

    Dis darem maar erg, né. Die politieke toekoms in Engeland lyk nie lekker nie. En jy het gedink globale verwarming of die toestand van Springbokrugby is ‘n probleem.

    Maar daar is natuurlik ook ‘n ander brokkie nuus wat ‘n week of twee gelede redelik wyd gerapporteer is in die Engelse pers, en dit is die kwytskelding van ons eie Jacob Zuma op aanklagte van bedrog. Nie net dit nie, maar ‘n dansende Zuma wat die jillende massas buite die hof opsweep is oënskynlik die enigste kandidaat om vir Thabo Mbeki op te volg wanneer dié se termyn binnekort tot ‘n einde kom.

    Fantastiese nuus, as jy my vra. Nou sal niemand in Suid-Afrika ooit weer Vigs kry nie, want die president sê dat jy net moet stort om die probleem te bekamp. En die president se woord is mos wet, nie waar nie?

    Maar hier is my vraag. Hoe verduidelik ek vir my Londense vriende dat die politieke landskap in Engeland op die ou end tog nie so erg is as wat hulle daarvan maak nie? Want Gordon Brown is miskien ‘n pateet relatief tot Winston Churchill en Margaret Thatcher, en dis dalk waar dat David Cameron so beginselvas is soos ‘n tweedehandse motorhandelaar.

    Maar relatief tot die politieke stand van sake in Suid-Afrika en die toekoms van die presidentskap in die land van my geboorte, dink ek die Engelse kan maar hulle seëninge tel. Hulle kla definitief met die witbrood onder die arm.

    Sal iemand asseblief vir die Joneses ook laat weet?

  112. Ras,

    I love aviation. I stood in a hobby shop today and had to restrain myself from buying another RC plane that will probably not fly, because I see the probability of crashing it as a sin.

  113. I’m not lying, I was in a hobby shop today as well!

    Weird. This place is huge, full of models to build, really fine detail stuff.

  114. Kaka Donner I certainly dont feel like I am going with the stream by being positive about the now. Most whiteys are tight about it so I dont see how you can say I am a conformist or trying to fit in. I just did not like the way things were run then. I look around at the architecture from that era and its horrible. UJ (old RAU) building is probably the pinnacle of old SA design and even thats a monstrosity.

    I just feel more comfortable with how things are now. We are part of a world community and i like many friends and many kinds of food and many diverse opinions and cultures. The old SA tried to be homogenous and I just dont think thats cool.

    Politics will always be a fuck-up but there is no excuse for bad taste and the old goverment had that in bucket-loads.

  115. Jis guys can you not talk to me about anything else? How about music. Please I reall yhave more to offer than a controversial political debate!

  116. Hi Rasmus,

    Tomorrow will be a cracker. Cannot belive we have to wait till 7pm.

    Comment by shields — November 10, 2006 @ 11:05 pm |Edit This

    I think so too! I’m getting quite excited about this match.

    We are such obvious underdogs that it’s intriguing to see how we’ll go.

    A kid like Fransie Steyn is huge, he’s a massive bugger for 20 years old. He’ll probably end his career at about 105kg’s!

  117. Jis guys can you not talk to me about anything else? How about music. Please I reall yhave more to offer than a controversial political debate!

    Comment by shields — November 10, 2006 @ 11:23 pm |Edit This

    Yes, let’s leave it, two nights in a row is far too much!

  118. h’zit Russian,Donner,Shields
    whats the topic for discussion?

    Comment by Duiwel — November 10, 2006 @ 11:26 pm

    controversial political debate!!!

  119. Donner,

    Hoover was some fucked up guy.

    He saw reds under every bed.

    Far too much power for his own good either.

    Did I read recently that they may have solved the Jimmy Hoffa mystery?

    Do you remember the massive mystery of the girl that disappeared in the Knysna forest?

    Rosemary somebody?

  120. Girls and jetplanes and the fact that both Donner and Ras realised to their suprise that their mid-life crisis are in full swing, finding themselves in a hobby store searching for the child within!

  121. Both need space for full
    both are dangerous when they’re hot,
    one mistake with either
    and you’re ejected from
    the driving seat.

  122. Shit lads I have to run. Baba crying – been a long day. Ons vir jou Suid Afrika (ja al ly ons aan magsverlies!)

    Only joking…….

  123. Film probes mystery of Ros Ballingall‘s disapperance

    By Athane Scholtz Garden Route Reporter

    THE impenetrable and mysterious Knysna forest does not give up its secrets easily. Just ask freelance filmmaker Nicole Scha- fer, 26, whose documentary on the unsolved 1969 disappearance of 20-year-old drama student Rosalind Ballingall has recently seen the light.

    One of the most publicised cases of the time, the disappearance of the beautiful blonde University of Cape Town student had been even more mysterious because of Ballingall‘s association with the then much frowned-upon hippie movement in Knysna, as well as a cult called the Cosmic Butterfly and her presence at an alleged drug-den party on the edge of the forests the night before her disappearance.

    Nearly four decades after Ballin- gall‘s disappearance, the memories of frantic searches and spiritual mysteries have faded in the minds of most locals but some have never forgotten it.

    “As long as I can remember, I associated the Knysna forests with the disappearance of this mystical woman. I am not sure where and when I had heard it first, but it came to the fore when I was looking for a subject to film for my final project in my Masters degree programme at UCT,? said Schafer, whose family lived on the Garden Route for many years.

    “When I started researching, I was surprised to discover that she was also a student at UCT and studied on the same campus as I – there were even two lecturers on campus who studied with Ros and I could interview them as participants in my film.? In search of answers to the unsolved case, The Ballad of Rosalind Ballingall follows Ballingal‘s footsteps from the bohemian city streets of Cape Town in the 1960s to the Knysna forests, drawing on the collective memory of the Knysna community and students who were at university with her at the time.

    The daughter of a Rand Mines executive, Ballingall set off with two friends from Cape Town on August 11, 1969, to spend a weekend at a popular hippie haunt in Fisanthoek known as the “Sugarhouse? – so named because of its association with the drug LSD.

    According to police reports, she left the house the morning after her arrival to go for a walk in the forest. She took nothing with her except a Bible and never returned. Heavy rains made it impossible for trackers to pick up any trace of her in the forest and subsequent reported sightings of her around the country, made her story all the more confusing.

    False alarms regarding her whereabouts, from clairvoyants to convicted criminals, led to several re-investigations for as long as 10 years after her disappearance.

    The story was also extensively covered in the media as the search became nationwide and has continued to surface over the years – most recently following the discovery in April of a helicopter that disappeared in the Knysna forests in 1999, and the murders of Knysna waitresses Jessica Wheeler, 18, and Victoria Stadler, 20, late last year.

    “The Knysna forests are vast and at places impenetrable. It holds its secrets close to its heart and is even a mystery to forest workers who have lived and worked there for years. If a helicopter could have been missing for seven years and only discovered by accident by forest workers, how much more easily could human remains stay undiscovered.?

    Schafer said it had been difficult to find locals who had an intimate knowledge of the incident, mainly because most of the hippie community had moved away from the area.

    “Rosalind‘s sisters and brother, who now live in the UK, did not want to be included or mentioned in the film and weren‘t willing to share with me any details of Rosalind‘s life and the devastating effect her disappearance had on their family. I had subsequently sent them a copy of the film, which was well received.?

    The individuals with whom Rosalind had gone to Knysna that weekend, and those living at the house from where she disappeared at the time, also chose not to be included in the film and weren‘t able to shed any new light on the disappearance, other than the facts mentioned in the film.

    “There were several people in Fisanthoek who could guide me, like Gillian Carter, Knysna‘s chief librarian, who was friendly with the people who lived in the house where Ros disappeared.

    “Although many theories continue to exist around Rosalind‘s disappearance, the case remains unsolved and any documentation surrounding her disappearance has subsequently been destroyed or simply lost.?

    Two years after her search started, Schafer premiered her film – for which she received a university distinction – in Plettenberg Bay in February and in Knysna in March.

    “The film was well received and many people have come up to me to tell me their stories or how they were connected to Rosalind‘s case.

    “I also met the Ballingal family dentist who had kept Ros‘s dental records for many years just in case her remains were ever found.

    “Many people have subsequently come up to me with all kinds of information, but unfortunately nothing that really shed light on the mystery.?

    Schafer‘s 40-minute documentary will be screened at the Knysna Movie House tomorrow at 8pm, ahead of the town‘s first month-long “art-house? movie festival, which starts on Friday.

  124. Great Donner,
    famous african(ehtnic) mathematicians?
    what about dictators revelling
    in bloodbaths!
    Fk thats more like it,i can name loads.

  125. Both need space for full
    both are dangerous when they’re hot,
    one mistake with either
    and you’re ejected from
    the driving seat.

    Comment by Duiwel — November 10, 2006 @ 11:31 pm |Edit This


  126. Ras,

    Yes very well. Stayed at Fancourt a couple of times (although George is my favourite course). I am also a secret fan of Brenton on Sea and Noetzie beach. Did the Otter Trail 10 yeras back – very good (naturally I took ones bag man along)

  127. No Ras. I dont watch the p’ship during international periods. Family life means I have to limit the amount of rugger I watch.

  128. The road less taken is it Donner?
    I must admit,upon reflection,
    that i find Shield’s general
    attitude admirable in spite of the
    obvious adversity to some of his opinions.

  129. Been going there on holiday since I was 5 years old, St M.

    Agreed, love Noetzie and have grown fond of Brenton on Sea since I left SA.

    Thought it was naff when I was growing up but age alters perspective and now I’d love to have a place there.

    Do you know Lake Pleasant on Groenvlei?

  130. Hope England gets it up
    the khyber pass on Sat.
    Its bound to be a shimmer of light
    after getting knobbed by the Micks.

  131. Ras,


    Comment by Donner — November 10, 2006 @ 11:41 pm |Edit This

    My wife dragged me in there this evening. God knows why, think she was looking for …..

    hold a sec….

    okay, “Ag, I was just looking”

  132. Ras,

    Taht is very disappointing. Come on man. Keep the kid within alive. A nice RC car or even plane is great fun. The stuff is so cheap over there, I fear I might be divorced if I was staying in the UK or USA.

    I wouldn’t stop buying new toys.

  133. St M,

    George IS a gorgeous course but it has time on it’s side, it’s been there for a long time.

    I guess that in 50 years time when the trees have developed then Fancourt will look pretty good.

    Knysna has a cute little course, 9 holes, I think. Bit dinky but cute.

    Ernie has built a new course down near Herold’s Bay.

  134. Ras,

    Taht is very disappointing. Come on man. Keep the kid within alive. A nice RC car or even plane is great fun. The stuff is so cheap over there, I fear I might be divorced if I was staying in the UK or USA.

    I wouldn’t stop buying new toys.

    Comment by Donner — November 10, 2006 @ 11:48 pm |Edit This


    People here take these model building things very seriously indeed! Model planes that can fly, model speedboats, model yachts, model cars, model racing cars, you name it. Some very impressive stuff and loads of model shops to choose from.

  135. I’m a hacker, play once or twice a year and thoroughly enjoy losing as many balls as possible! I love walking the courses, often walk with my boet, looking at the scenery, nature, trees, wildlife etc.

  136. Now, now Duiwel

    St M is harmless. It would be a sad world indeed if we couldn’t take a bit of joshing or a poke in the ribs every now and again.

  137. Hobbies? Pretty much the lot. Sport and reading mainly. I probably crunch 5 books a week on all matter of subjects. My English master used to insist.

    I love doing the moutain bike trail just after Noetzie on the road to Plett – Outeniqua Mountain Bike Trails. What scenery.

    May I suggest you all a good book – Guns, Germs and Steel. A riveting read. Explains an awful lot.

    Over and out for the day chaps Toodoolhoo.

  138. People here take these model building things very seriously indeed! Model planes that can fly, model speedboats, model yachts, model cars, model racing cars, you name it. Some very impressive stuff and loads of model shops to choose from.

    Comment by Rasputin — November 10, 2006 @ 11:52 pm

    You would be surprise at how RC is growing in SA.

    This one model shop where I used to buy my stuff was up for sale some six years ago. I asked the guy about the business one day.

    In my mind it should be quite a capital intensive business because of the carrying time of the stock. Everything gets imported and sales (to me) seemed slow. I asked him what his carry time was ona model.

    “One week” was what he answered me. He ended up not selling the place but moved to another location. Weirdess thing is that his store at that stage was located in Tyge Valley shopping centre. He kept on going till last year.

  139. St M,

    Don’t know if you know it but there is a ‘secret’ beach just before Knysna.

    About 10 clicks before Knysna from the CT side on the right hand side you’ll see a turn for the Lake Pleasant Caravan Park and what used to be the Lake Pleasant Hotel. Anyway, take the turn, drive through the caravan site (you’ll mostly see bungalows) and then on past the hotel and keep going, the gravel road (grondpad) will head up the koppie, past a few houses, and then crest the ridge and go down the other side where there are no buildings, no development, no shops, nothing, just nature. It ends at a gravel parking area perched above the ocean, walk down the steps and you’ve got 15 km’s of beach more or less to yourself!

    Very safe, nobody there. The sea is dangerous though, watch the kids.

  140. Then again, considering we are apparently one and the same, we’ll probably both be taking the waters there at the same time.

  141. Klink my Duiwel het in sy kelder verdwaal.
    Die een met drank in.
    Of anders vat hy baie lank om te besluit
    wat om vanaand te suip.

  142. Ek het nou so gedink:
    Dalk beter ons verloor vandag.
    Wen ons, sal die manne op so ‘n high wees dat hulle teen die Bleekbene vou.
    Liewer vandag verloor en met wraak in die kop
    op Twickenham draf.

  143. You would be surprise at how RC is growing in SA.

    This one model shop where I used to buy my stuff was up for sale some six years ago. I asked the guy about the business one day.

    Comment by Donner — November 11, 2006 @ 12:01 am |Edit This


    I was a COMPLETE KNOB!!!!

    When I was a kid my Gran used to send me electric railway things, you know, locomotives, passengers cars etc. All of it was original Hornby parts

    I had the Flying Scotsman, the Flying Dutchman and loads of other pieces. All heavy, solid pieces.

    Anyway, the parts that I didn’t break or lose over the years I sold to a customer of the bank I worked at for about R10.

    Now I watch auction programmes on TV and feel sick to death whenever original Hornby stuff comes up.

  144. Naand Toppie,
    ghost site se gat man,
    skuif jou bril op.

    saw a robin williams,allour yesterdays?
    about life after death.

    i realise that we live in a world
    within which diversity is like
    spice that adds aroma tothe
    sheer wonder of Life’s Taste.

    However all aromas is pleasing.
    Pretentious shite,has a peculiar
    tepid tang i find especialy revolting.
    An aquired taste,agrees,certainly the wise
    would taste regardlessly,
    attempting to acertain which variety
    of shit one is tasting and
    its origins and advantages to the Taste
    as such
    i’d rather just cave his nose in.

  145. Yip, Hmmm, you cracked it!

    Master Hmmmm

    Sorry Boertjie, wife is chatting, got an eye on a tv programme, looking up stuff and responding.

    You’ve got a point but the thing is, I don’t want to lose to Ireland any more than I want to lose to the bleekbene!

  146. StM…..

    5 losses in a row…..

    And when you lose against the Arg…..6 losses in a row…..

    And Aus have 4 without victory…….

    Just shows how long ago was the WC final…..

    How cheap does WC champs sound now….

  147. 32 reland,
    beeste 12.
    Thats my call.
    I’m not going to watch.
    I’m taking a stand.
    Enough is enough.
    Things need to change
    or they can go to hell.
    i”l keep track of the first half,
    thats my whack.
    If they play without their ablities’s sphere
    i’d watch the second half,
    to spot the catalyst.
    Otherwise they’re on their own.
    I’ll spend me money on flies instead.

  148. Toppie,
    n bees suip.
    Ek geniet n laatnag kelkie.
    Dit is aansienbaar meer gerustellend
    vir my gemoed as van die
    ander kak wat n mens laatnag kan aanjaag.

  149. Die groot twak praters vir die thread……

    Comment by Hmmm — Novembe 135
    Comment by Donner — Novem 102
    Comment by Rasputin — Nov 65
    Comment by Vinnie — Novem 40
    Comment by Duiwel — Novem 36
    Comment by Oranje Orakel 31
    Comment by robdylan© — No 18
    Comment by bluegreengold 14
    Comment by shields — Nove 14
    Comment by cab — November 11
    Comment by DavidS — Novem 10
    Comment by StMichel — Nov 9
    Comment by Grrrr…. I’m 7
    Comment by il postino — N 7
    Comment by Provincejoulek 6
    Comment by Boertjie — Nov 5
    Comment by grootblousmile 4
    Comment by Sarky — Novemb 3
    Comment by Ballas — Novem 2
    Comment by danie — Novemb 2
    Comment by Grrrr…. I’m a 2
    Comment by Grrrr…. I’m 7 1
    Comment by manvanstaal — 1

  150. I have indeed Bolshevik,
    godlen amber of content.

    It’ll be nev year before i can
    get a macallanor lagavulin.
    I see theres a nice talisker,12,going
    for a mere 29 euros.
    But i have flies,vest,flyboxes,
    new priest and trout to buy.
    Having 11 days after 1ST JAN.
    Fishing and a spot of renevating.

  151. By the way, for all those boasting about their antecedents!

    I am directly related to…….

    …….you’ll never guess!

  152. “But i have flies,vest,flyboxes,
    new priest and trout to buy.”

    I understand all the rest but what’s a ‘priest’?

    I used to do surf and estuary river fishing, used Penn reels and spinner reels.

  153. No Ras,
    when i bumbled about in scotland
    flyfishing was indeed
    the last thing i thought of doing.
    A more is the shame.
    Once a year,normally,
    my mates and I have a boys week.
    The last one was ireland.
    The next one has to be fishing and
    the usual pissup.
    So ireland sounds good again.
    My buddie is better at selecting
    a venue,
    and he is a mad’un for flyfishing,
    i’m sure he’ll concentrate.

  154. Duiwel,

    If I could suggest a town called Newton Stewart in an area of Scotland called Dumfries & Galloway. Fishing on the River Cree.

    Newton Stewart has 23 drinking establishments on it’s own.

  155. Ras…..I use excel to calculate the number of posts per person on a thread….

    That was the count up to my post 12:22……

  156. Rassie 12:38…..Married to his sister…..

    Comment by Hmmm — November 11, 2006 @ 12:40 am |Edit This


    I’m directly descended from a Lord and something else…

  157. Ras…..I use excel to calculate the number of posts per person on a thread….

    That was the count up to my post 12:22……

    Comment by Hmmm — November 11, 2006 @ 12:41 am |Edit This

    Cool, but how do you physically do it? Do you have to manually input data as you scroll down?

  158. Duiwel,

    Dumfries and Galloway is geographically blessed with everything, from a rugged coastline
    to miles of sandy beaches, acre upon acre of forestry with wildlife in abundance and if that
    wasn`t enough a wealth of salmon rivers and trout lochs. A fishermans dream.

  159. Master Jack and i ,Cab,
    are entertaining oneanother tonight.

    A priest is like a little instrument,
    similar to chinese, male,genetalia,
    with which one delivers the Good News
    to the doomed trout.

    I have a sert flyer,largearbor,
    I’ve seen the shimano reels,
    brrrrrrrr halle berry of reels.
    Can’t justify such an extravagant
    The D50 was enough for christmas.
    And i want to buy a few fish.

  160. Ras 12:43…Nooooooo, you crazy….

    I copy and past it into excel…..type in a formula in the first line, copy and paste to the end, then create a pivot table…..which calculates the numbers….

    And then I copy and past it out of the pivot table to the same sheet, dif columns to sort……

  161. I’ve seen the shimano reels,
    brrrrrrrr halle berry of reels.

    Sheesh! Duiwel, those are the ones. My Dad bought two Shimano’s.

    Damn, that’s another thing where I have no idea where it all went, all the fishing reels.

  162. nope, got to get something sorted over next few months and then might be freer to engage.

    interesting place paris, everyone well behaved, no drunken debauchery (shame really), plenty charm and preening.

  163. I type in the number of characters that it should consolidate….it will count the word even if in the middle…….Grrr’s has too many gaps between his nic and thus gets split….

    His is the only one that has done that of many that I have calculated via the pivot table

  164. Hmmmmm,1245,

    Russian i’ll have a look,
    but the Jocks are greedy.
    In england you can pay up to 150 pound
    a day fishing on a river.
    In france the Bourne river
    6 euros.
    Ireland is good for thre crack,
    not all the boys fish.
    Some only drink.
    I attempt to be
    a functioning alcoholic.

  165. And Ras, speed is the important think here, and even though it won’t take long to consolidate…..it’s extra work…..and we can just count the 3 together in our head…..

  166. Cab,
    late night jazz,
    salsa is a good way to
    meet pleasant young ladies,
    swinging their pubic mounds
    in your direction.
    Even a salsa course is
    packed with women.

  167. hmmm,
    the sauciest story i can tell you tonight is that the austalian barlady that served me was very bubbly and gave me the lowdown on the locals, at least from her vantage point, she had large mammory glands that peeked out of her backless dress at times which was very disconcerting, especially since we’d beome such good mates, rough accent, clever girl, fluent in the lingo, streetwise, understood all the blokes around her and who was trying it on.

    left early, got stuff to do tommorrow before the rugby.

  168. I never new Andrew Hall was Afrikaans.

    Watching BVP the cricket show with Fanie dVilliers…..

    He is using the best Afrikaans that I have heard in a while with a perfect accent….

    I always though he was a rooie….

  169. Are you in Australia now, Flinkie?

    Yes, you’ve just missed Donner.

    He’ll definitely be here during the test tomorrow.

    Hold a sec, I’ll find out what time kick-off is….

    Back in 2

  170. Flinkie,
    i do apologise for my
    boorish manner ,uttered
    in suprise,
    to your nick.
    I assumed you were a bloke
    and i found the nick,
    a touch…. funky.
    No harm meant at all.

  171. also used to do a bit of estuary fishing, went trout fishing one, only thing that got hooked, was the old ballie teaching us 10-to-2 casting, not a single trout was caught, but pulled some big arse carp…in the estuary it was flatties, cob, elf and spotted grunter (or was that another slip of the bowels).

  172. Never tried coarse fishing,Cab,
    trout in my little pond are sly.
    Swim under the fly,feel the line and
    Hoohked one on a bee montana,
    took it shook it ,broke
    3.90 line like garing.
    Didn’t even accelerate the tail.
    Made me feel like a
    french thumb.

  173. Flinkie,

    Perth is 6 hours ahead of SA
    Sydney is 9 hours ahead of SA
    Brisbane is 8 hours ahead

    So, wherever in Aus you are, it’ll be late in the evening, early hours of the morning.

  174. Ras,

    No worry. That time I will already be in bed.

    We have been in contact on Skype most of the time. Just thought to show my face on the site again. Forgot it is only midnight in that neck of the woods.

  175. Net vir jou Flinkie……

    Ek onthou jou, toe ek net van rugga world gehoor het toe was jy gereeld hier….

    En toe spot jy nog so met my oor bymekaar kom….

    Dis juis hoekom ek jou terg of jy vir duiwel will leer ken……hehehe

    Comming clean, voor Ras my weer uittrap…

  176. Ras,

    Heading for Brisbane next week. In Perth at this stage. Going to visit Tafeltjie’s cousin and then I am heading back to SA.

    Not looking forward to it though.

  177. Ras,

    Homesick, but fine otherwise. How are you?

    Comment by Flinkie — November 11, 2006 @ 1:02 am |Edit This

    I’m sure you are, you’ve been gone for ages already.

    I’m very well thanks.

    Also homesick but looking forward to the Test tomorrow.

    You are going to suffer when you start playing squash again, have you been running?

    Vier gewapende mans het gisteraand 4 miljoen Zimbabwiese dollar uit ‘n bank in Haharare gesteel.
    Die oorsaak van die diefstal is onbekend.

  179. heading back to SA.

    Not looking forward to it though.

    Comment by Flinkie — November 11, 2006 @ 1:11 am |Edit This

    Now, you’ve confused me!

    Homesick but not looking forward to returning!

    Come now, Flinkie, I know it’s a woman’s perogative to change her mind but…..REALLY!

  180. So Flinkie,as a woman,
    do you agree that estetically
    Halle Berry is a finer specimen
    than Buffy.
    inane question,i know,
    however wbuffy isnot the
    general cosensus

  181. Which buggers are you referring to Cab,
    the carp i take it.
    About 8 kilo’s i’d say.
    You couldn’t get your hands around it,
    so to speak.

  182. By the way, Flinkie, enter the competition on the front page. Just put down your predicted score, at least if you win you’ll have a lovely large magnum of red wine waiting for you on your return to SA!

  183. Duiwel,

    I don’t like either of them. Both seem very artificial. Buffy looks like a spoiled brat and Halle is just to good to be true.

  184. Nee wag nou flinkie, jy het met my gespot…..maar ja die daar was so een of twee wat agter jou aan gevlei het……en toe spot jy met my oor ontmoet…..hehe

  185. Ras,

    Thing is that I miss my friends, but from what I heard is happening back in SA it just makes one skin crawl.

    Funny how quickly one get use to not hearing about the atrocities everyday.

  186. Boertjie,
    die oorsaak van die diefstal
    was savy.
    Mooi joppie.
    1MIL each.
    Clean away.

    are you sure you’re not
    overreacting in that sweeping
    generalisation on the men frequenting here.
    Must be another site that,
    i’ve seen nothing of the sort here.

  187. Hmmm,

    Ek moes of dit doen of vir my wickets keer. Wat sou jy gedoen het as jy in my skoene was.

    Ek het regtig begin dink dit is ‘n bymekaarkom plek vir eensames.

  188. no flinkie, has a point, she came onto the site right at the most innoportune point when I was getting vulgar to test Hmmm’s reactions.

    there is a time for decorum, where is that dictionary?

  189. Buffy looks like a spoiled brat

    Comment by Flinkie — November 11, 2006 @ 1:15 am |Edit This

    Ja well, no fine, everyone’s allowed to be wrong about one thing in life. :evil:

  190. (Nou bloos ek)

    Comment by Flinkie — November 11, 2006 @ 1:21 am |Edit This


    Vir bloos, maak net so…..

    : o o p s :

    But all of it together, like this


    Now blush properly!

  191. Cab,
    thabout 6 of them.
    They live in absolute peace,
    no predators at all,laods of chow.
    A carp is like a pig.
    gets onwith it.

    i understand the distaste
    in someone as artificial as Buffy however
    you saig it.
    Halle is to good to be true.

    thank you Flinkie,
    well said.

  192. no flinkie, has a point, she came onto the site right at the most innoportune point when I was getting vulgar to test Hmmm’s reactions.

    there is a time for decorum, where is that dictionary?

    Comment by cab — November 11, 2006 @ 1:21 am |Edit This

    You are right, Cab, but Flinkie has a very developed sense of humour. I very much doubt she holds it against you!

  193. Hello Flinkie –
    Gaan jy regtig nie opstaan vir die toets nie?

    Jy mis die punt. Met 4 miljoen Z$ kan jy seker nou drie brode en ‘n Coke koop

  194. Funny how the Russian don’t
    mind his friends talking sweetly,
    but us rif raf,the odd word of
    and he is all thunder.
    I don’t know,but i sense
    a sneaky subterfuge or blatant favourism
    for debauchery.

    as jy bloos raak jou wangie pienk?

  195. rasputin,
    as you so aptly pointed out yesterday, words cannot convey subtelety online, one must be vigilant…that will be a first tho.

  196. You obviously wasn’t here when I first logged on. I felt raped.

    Comment by Flinkie — November 11, 2006 @ 1:24 am

    Jinne flinkie…dit nie ‘n bietjie harsh nie…

  197. Flinkie
    Nee, die suidoos waai te kwaai vir ‘n brugslapery.
    Voor dit het dit gereën.
    Maar ek hoor Tafeltjie wil nou die karavaan steel vir ‘n aand.

  198. Ras,

    Wel jy het gese jy het ‘n groot voel.

    (Nou bloos ek)

    Comment by Flinkie — November 11, 2006 @ 1:21 am

    Just all talk Flinkie……

  199. Ras,

    Nee ek het Bedryfs Sielkunde geswot. Het in Human Resources gewerk, maar werk is ‘n bietjie skaars nou selfs vir ‘n vrou in daai lyn.

    Om eerlik te wees ek wet nie wat ek gaan doen as ek terug is in SA nie.

  200. Hmmm

    Jy is verkeerd. Ek het nie ‘n punt nie.

    Comment by Flinkie — November 11, 2006 @ 1:28 am

    Ja sorry, jy het twee, maar net as dit koud is…

  201. Het Donner ‘n foto van my belowe???

    Ek sal hom moer.

    Comment by Flinkie — November 11, 2006 @ 1:42 am |Edit This

    Hy het! :evil:

    Ek wag nogsteeds!

  202. Flinkie
    Donner het laaaankal daai foto van jou hier gepost. Met ‘n Brannasnacht. Toe kry ons rekord hits – meeste ooit op een aand.

  203. Hehehe. Ras het net een punt.
    ‘n Volstruis s’n. Of so sê hy.

    Comment by Boertjie — November 11, 2006 @ 1:36 am |Edit This


    EK se nie so! Geskiedenis se so!

  204. Hehe flinkie…….donner moet lig loop…hy het dit gepost en gese dat dit ‘n vriend is…..

    Nou weet ek wie dit is…..

    Die dag toe ons ook vir big g se pic gepost het…..

  205. Net een vragie.

    As julle die tyd van die nag nog sit en blog, waar is julle beter helftes of is julle almal skelm gays?

  206. Ek bedoel ek sal hom moer omdat hy my nie gevra het nie.

    Comment by Flinkie — November 11, 2006 @ 1:46 am |Edit This

    Flinkie, jy was waarskynlik saam met hulle by die huis! Kandas het gevra vir ‘n pic. Donner het gese, ja, hy het een, sal stuur. Ek het ook gevra then Kandas wanted to moer me for interfering!

  207. Flinkie, as is nog te jonk vir ‘n beter helfde…..

    Maar het so bietjie gevry met ‘n vrou wat ek nou die dag ontmoet het…..

  208. As julle die tyd van die nag nog sit en blog, waar is julle beter helftes of is julle almal skelm gays?

    Comment by Flinkie — November 11, 2006 @ 1:48 am |Edit This

    Ek is baie gay, Flinkie, I take a lot of joy out of life.

    My better half, who has been forced to watch Braveheart more times than any woman deserves, has decided it was enough huismoles and has retired to bed.

  209. See ya cab….and please refer to them as Bokke….

    Boks is afrikaans for box…..and I national rugby pride are no baxes…..

  210. Older than sin,luv,
    and twice as entertaining.
    Sadly i must dash,
    i have a bottom to wipe,
    kakdoeke optel,
    and make sure she has a burp
    before she lies down.

    And no flinkie,
    thats not the other half.

    Like always,
    its been a pleasue,