Springbok props and the state of South African scrummaging has been savagely lampooned by British rugby writer Stephen Jones.
Superrugby.co.za
Stephen Jones of the London Sunday Times, writing his weekly syndicated e-mail, has poured derision on what he calls the myth of South Africa’s formidable props and scrummaging.
This is what the veteran Welsh rugby writer had to say:
”Once we get a supposed national characteristic into our heads, a national trait or a so-called national strength, there is no shifting it. It becomes a consuming dogma.
“You know the sort of thing: West Indies produce great fast bowlers. The French are rude and shocking drivers. The Scots are tight as ducks’ backsides. Wales produces wonderful sports journalists. Aussie and Kiwi referees are scandalously bad. Germans hog the towels on holiday. Well, most of these notions are just typecasting. Most.
“And South Africa produces great props. What a load of drivel. I admit it, I have subscribed to this hoary old rubbish. It is not true. It never was. South Africa is the home of Big Blokes Going Backwards. It is the elephant in the room of every South African rugby fan. Except that the elephant is docile and not half as dangerous as it looks. As with Bok props, if you say “Boo!” it will go away.
“Take this tour. Leicester’s reserve pack and Martin Castrogiovanni butchered the Boks at Welford Road. In Toulouse last Saturday, the Boks were beasted up front, embarrassed and shattered. On Tuesday night at Wembley, the reserve Sarries front row annihilated South Africa at scrum-time.
“It was ever thus. The first time I saw South Africa live was at dear old Rodney Parade and I could hardly watch the first few scrums as the tiny Newport props went down against those giants. Why worry? I can even recall that Newport won nine balls against the head. Yes, nine.
“At their very best, the Bok scrum is a holding operation. But in the last 20 years they have grossly over-rated a torrent of props, they have promoted others prematurely on grounds of race and they have still managed to be called a scrummaging nation. Why?
“The trick that they play on themselves is typified by the deification of Os du Randt, who was never remotely a great player or scrummager. A few years ago at Twickenham he was humiliated by the England front row. You felt sad for him. “Big bloke, but didn’t know what to do with it,” a scrum expert told me that night.
“A nation of scrummagers? More like a nation of Backwards Joggers. Scroll down to see our list of the week of Bok weaklings.
SOUTH AFRICA’S LEADING LARD-BOTTOMS:
The pumped-up props for whom reverse gear is a way of life.
10. Wian du Preez – came on as a replacement for South Africa against Sarries at Wembley, hammered by Richard Skuse then ritually slaughtered by Carlos Nieto in the final quarter. Ran backwards.
9. BJ Botha - when last I was in South Africa, one of the home prop-slobberers told me to watch out for BJ, he was something special. Indeed he was. He stayed hidden for 80 minutes.
8. CJ van der Linde – shocking. He was beasted to kingdom come in the Wasps-Leinster Heineken match at Twickenham last season. Cue disappearance of CJ and enter unopposed scrums.
7. Lawrence Sephaka – still staggering about in France last time we heard. Was usually carted off at half time in big games after being murdered in the scrum. Token-selection suspicions ahoy.
6. Gurthro Steenkamp – nice bloke, but he couldn’t scrummage your Auntie. Totally obliterated by Martin Castrogiovanni of Leicester at Welford Road last week. Would struggle for a beer-only contract in a local leagues outfit.
5. Ollie le Roux – great jolly barrel of a man. Enjoyed the odd gallop prior to a ten-minute break for wheezing and getting his breath back, but yet another Bok prop who was simply not at the races as a scrummager.
4. John Smit – a few years ago he was a decent hooker. Now, in answer to the savage dearth, he is a prop who, if he quickened up dramatically, would be military slow-medium.
3. Jannie du Plessis – smashed to pieces by the reserve Leicester front row last week. Big and chunky and a shame he kept missing the How to Prop seminars. No forward gears, apparently.
2. Tendai Mtawarira – even by the second half of the first test against the Lions we knew that his striking scrummaging against Phil Vickery in the first half had been a freak, aided by a ref who let him scrum with total illegality. In the rest of the series, including the return against Vickery in the third test, he was demolished.
1. Os du Randt – the mountainous hero, the untouchable, four-square baldy of scrum-time, adored in the Republic. Especially by those whose televisions were on the blink when he was destroyed piece by piece and utterly humiliated by Julian White at Twickenham a few years ago.”
Jones, like the Springbok selectors, has obviously never heard of WP Nel or Coenie Oosthuizen!
November 19th, 2009 at 12:29 pm
Yes, well, we all know Stephen Jones is a douche bag.
November 19th, 2009 at 12:39 pm
Reply to asteroth @ 12:29 pm:
Yet Gary Gold is a legend?
November 19th, 2009 at 12:43 pm
Nothing a bit of coaching can’t fix! Os to coach the bok front-row?
And great to get tzhe message given to us in this way so that the Bokke can prepare for this onslaught come 2011! Last thing we want is this to happen to us when it matters!
November 19th, 2009 at 12:49 pm
Reply to JT @ 12:43 pm:
No dis-respect to the man… but you want a Jarpie to coach scrumming… ROTFLMAO!
November 19th, 2009 at 12:50 pm
Can anyone say sensationalism? Or Tabloid reporting? Or tosser?
November 19th, 2009 at 12:52 pm
Reply to bryce_in_oz @ 12:49 pm:
Next I’m going to hear that the CC is the show-case of front-rows… hehehehehe!
November 19th, 2009 at 12:54 pm
Reply to KietieCat @ 12:50 pm:
Not sure KT… I can say embarrassed though… quite easily… I’ve had practice… since the entire EOYT!
November 19th, 2009 at 1:08 pm
yearite, and what happened in the worldcup final (coincidently quite a bit more important than the Leicester game)against Sheridon and Vickery?
If I remember correctly, the poms got scrummed off their own put in right on the tryline, and that by none other than
“Os du randt” the mountainous hero, the untouchable, four-square baldy of scrum-time, adored in the Republic. Especially by those whose televisions were on the blink when he was destroyed piece by piece and utterly humiliated by Julian White at Twickenham a few years ago.”
and
“CJ van der Linde – shocking. He was beasted to kingdom come in the Wasps-Leinster Heineken match at Twickenham last season. Cue disappearance of CJ and enter unopposed scrums.”
Anybody care to remember the mother of all PK’s given out at twickenham 2008?
Front row was none other than Beast, Smit and Jannie
All these guys need is a decent scrum coach.
Hopefully by then Jones would not have choked yet from his revolting halitosis breath caused from the shit that is proceeding from his mouth.
I despise these arrogant English pompous pricks, that when their own team is in the lowest of lows they have ever been. I’m sure your blogging name was St Michael at one stage.
November 19th, 2009 at 1:16 pm
AgrEE Jones is a journo
but lets take stock
lot of halftruths in there
The oZZies scrum beTTer than us
Bur seriously- Jones doesnt even niBBle around the iSSue of the backfive in the scrum- so I gueSS – like he acknowledged
The myth that Cymru provides great sport writers — BUSTED
that said
WE NEED A DIRECTOR OF RUGBY THAT TAKE THE SCRUM SERIOUSLY!!!!!
November 19th, 2009 at 1:19 pm
ja nee, this jones is a p**s.
he speaks utter shite too and worse he is wholly ignorant, rather than erudite.
The Bokke have had props that other teams can only dream of. Visagie dominated their premiership for years. Ironman Stauss, Laubcher, Domkrag, Koch – no-one comes close to emulating these props, which is why the kiwis had to try knock them out illegally in ’56.
November 19th, 2009 at 1:21 pm
Reply to WiLLem @ 1:16 pm: The cows will be pleased i have just found someone worse than JJ, fuck this dude must be a scriptwriter in Hollywood.
He is as big a joke as the ref on Tuesday
November 19th, 2009 at 1:22 pm
Reply to Bunny @ 1:21 pm: Sorry JJ for saying you are the kakkes reporter, I will never say you are as kak as this arsh
November 19th, 2009 at 1:24 pm
The irony is that on http://www.planetrugby.com , Os was voted as the greatest loosehead prop of all times, and that by 3500 odd people from all over the world.
Sheridon and Julian White weren’t even mentioned, never mind voted for.
November 19th, 2009 at 1:27 pm
Reply to cab @ 1:19 pm:
Don’t forget Richard ‘The Rampage’ Bands!
Our scrum is kak right now, sure, but it’s not like the coaches are unaware of this, it will get better. It must get better.
November 19th, 2009 at 1:35 pm
Reply to welshbok @ 1:24 pm:
Good point.
November 19th, 2009 at 1:42 pm
Reply to asteroth @ 1:27 pm:
hehe gotta be the best prop try ever scored, but i never thought he was a monster scrummer in the league of those i mention.
there was also flippie van der merwe who along with guy kebble must surely rate as some of the heaviest players to ever play the game – but again i dont know how powerful they were scrumming wise.
November 19th, 2009 at 1:52 pm
About 20 minutes ago there was shooting of auto heavy calibre and handguns in our estate. Several helicopters circling.
Must have been about 50 shots.
November 19th, 2009 at 2:02 pm
Reply to Cosa @ 1:52 pm:
I was standing on the verandah, speaking over the phone and enjoying a ciggy.
The guy I was speaking to could hear the shots!
Must have been some kind of robbery that the cops intruded upon.
November 19th, 2009 at 2:08 pm
Afrika is nie vir sissies nie.
November 19th, 2009 at 2:13 pm
Reply to Bunny @ 1:21 pm:
November 19th, 2009 at 2:14 pm
Reply to Cosa @ 2:02 pm:
Ja…..
Sterkte!
November 19th, 2009 at 2:18 pm
Miskien is dit net Zuma wat
Umshini Wam oefen, saam met
‘n paar leeglêers van die
weermag.
As daar sirenes en blou ligte
is, is Julius Malemmer deel
van die show.
November 19th, 2009 at 3:39 pm
shot from heavy calibre automatic weapons, bliksem.
ja nee, africa is nie vir sissies nie. inteenoorgestel het ek n wonderlike franse terroire pate en ‘n heeerlike beaujolais gehad, miskien bly ek hier soos ‘n lekker dandy…
dankie
h
November 19th, 2009 at 3:47 pm
ja cabbie what a little softie there all muddled up in middle class bliss.
I watched the history of atilla the hun the other night and its rather startling to see how violent Europe was at some stage.
Even more shocking to learn last night that Prince Phillip from England is not only a known descendant but that he also shares a perfect DNA fit to that of Tsar Nicolas of Russia?
Hell these royals are all in bred.
November 19th, 2009 at 4:09 pm
Reply to newbokshields @ 3:47 pm:
ja, except i just like my food and n lekker glas rooi wyn is ook maar goed nou en dan.
the europeans have an incredible bloody history, and its relatively recent too, its why they so lugubrious, hell the french have been in huge barney’s, french soil is saturated in bloed, think its why the wine grows so well…
they had the french revolution, napoleonic, franco-prussian, WWI, WW2, indochina, algeria
November 19th, 2009 at 4:34 pm
Reply to newbokshields @ 3:47 pm:
Ja man, die koningshuise van
Engeland en Duitsland is vrot
van die ondertrouery.
“On Feb 10th, 1840, only three years after taking the throne, Victoria took her first vow and married her cousin, the German Prince Albert of Saxe-Coburg-Gotha.”
Etcetera.
November 19th, 2009 at 4:41 pm
Reply to Boertjie @ 4:34 pm:
moenie vergeet van die perd-naaiery.
kyk vir prinses margaret.
daardie tanna is glad nie vanaf mens nie.
November 19th, 2009 at 5:07 pm
En as mens natuurlik na Charles se ore kyk, wonder ‘n mens of daar nie miskien ‘n donkie betrokke was nie
November 19th, 2009 at 5:10 pm
Reply to welshbok @ 5:07 pm:
Wat’s die ooreenkoms tussen Caster Semengya en die paashaas?
Altwee probeer hulle eiers wegsteek
November 19th, 2009 at 5:13 pm
Reply to welshbok @ 5:07 pm:
November 19th, 2009 at 5:19 pm
Reply to welshbok @ 5:10 pm:
November 19th, 2009 at 5:36 pm
How do the Kiwi’s practice safe sex?
They paint a red cross on the back of the sheep that kick.
November 19th, 2009 at 5:39 pm
Reply to Ollie @ 5:36 pm:
Hehehehe.
I got a Boksburg Love Poem
today, couldn’t resist to
post it
SEE MAIN PAGE.