Please help ladies support this worthy cause

June 22, 2012
Posted by

It has come to DavidS attention that today is a day which is like no other.

Worldwide 22 June 2012 is celebrated as No Panties Day.

According to the fashion blog Darcxed:

Today June 22, Friday, we celebrate No Panty Day!

If you will ask me what is this event, then all I can say is that, (probably) this is the day for women not to wear panties or any undergarment in that part of the body or maybe another women celebration for freedom not to use panties or a new concept taken from the No Pants Day in US or an intriguing ad or maybe just a plain joke. But in general, I don’t have a slightest idea where this event came from and I really cannot claim its authenticity or anything.

At least let’s enjoy this day, remember it’s also Friday! So to all girls, please dress accordingly.

No further seriousness is permitted on RW today.

Post to Twitter Post to Facebook Post to MySpace

27 Comments

  1. avatar DavidS says:
    June 22nd, 2012 at 10:54 am

    No Pierre Spies
    No Wynand Olivier
    No politics
    No nothing

    Just unserious stuff.

    ps. Making jokes about the rugby is permitted…

  2. avatar Methos The French Stormer says:
    June 22nd, 2012 at 11:14 am

    LIONS…

    Cheers

  3. avatar DavidS says:
    June 22nd, 2012 at 11:16 am

    I’m going to make my kids some nutella today.

    It’s frigging cold in Joburg. Cloudy and 9′C

    Eish…

  4. avatar DavidS says:
    June 22nd, 2012 at 11:17 am

    That was just a punchline you kaalkop French dork…

    First they were the Lions
    Then they were the Red Lions
    Then the Golden Lions
    Now they’re the Circus Lions

  5. avatar Methos The French Stormer says:
    June 22nd, 2012 at 11:23 am

    No mate – that was the joke ;)

    Cheers

  6. avatar Methos The French Stormer says:
    June 22nd, 2012 at 11:24 am

    Is the joke…

    Cheers

  7. avatar Methos The French Stormer says:
    June 22nd, 2012 at 11:30 am

    Reminds me of a joke my grandfather told.

    Bunch of guys stranded on a island. They stay there for many years and eventually they get rescued. So they are all sitting in the hotel after being intervewed by the press havibg their first beer in a few years. A journalist was observing them and saw one guy saying our loud. “No 12″ and all the survivors laughed. After a few more sips another said No 4 and everybody laughed. so it continued and eventually he went up to them and asked them what the story was. They told him that because they were trapped on the island so long they all knew everybody’s jokes. So eventuall they just gave them numers to save time in the telling. He looked at them and said No 13. They just stared at him and he felt very uncomfortable. So he asked the guy next to him wasn’t there a joke no 13? No there was the guys answers – was a good one too. So why didn’t they laugh he asks him. Guy responds – “You didn’t tell it right.”

    Cheers

  8. avatar Welshbok die Brandwag says:
    June 22nd, 2012 at 11:49 am

    While we are facing England tomorrow, I thought I would tell a boer war joke!

    When general de la Rey gave those poms a run for their lives @ delareyville, he chased them all the way back to Capetown, they ran like they’d never run in their lives before, finally arriving in Capetown in their underpants only, kind of like the jippos in the 6 day war who are still to this day running!

    So as they run on to ship, with typical british confidence once the boards had been lifted and the ship sailing, the british general shouts back at the boere standing on the beach, YOUR SHIT WILL STILL COME!

    And 60 years later, the first Land Rover arrived in South Africa!

  9. avatar Morné says:
    June 22nd, 2012 at 12:01 pm

    Reply to Methos The French Stormer @ 11:30 am:

    Here is one your Boet might enjoy or any Boertjie South African that is in another country right now.

    Old Sarel one day got a call to say he was the winner of a random draw and he has won a trip to Spain. Now being from Bloemfontein Sarel’s command of any language apart from Afrikaan is not so great.

    So at the airport he tells his tjom Frederik; ‘Jissus Freddie ek weet nie so mooi not tjom, wat de donner gaan ek doen in Spanje as ek nie n woord Spaans kan praat nie?’

    ‘Moenie worry nie Sarel,’ tune ou Freddie ‘al wat jy doen is jy praat net baie hard Afrikaans en ‘n bietjie stadiger as gewoonlik – Spaans is baie dieselfde.’

    With that advice Sarel is on the plane and on his way to Spain.

    At the hotel in Spain Sarel unpacks and makes his way down to the hotel bar. At the counter he tells barman:

    ‘B-I-I-I-I-E-E-E-E-R A-S-S-E-B-L-I-E-F!’

    To his amazement the barman replied:

    ‘W-A-T-S-E B-I-I-I-E-E-E-E-R?’

    Sarel replied; ‘C-A-A-A-A-S-T-L-E’

    Barmen hands him the beer and asks:

    ‘W-A-A-A-A-R K-O-M J-Y V-A-N-D-A-A-A-N?’

    To which Sarel replied:

    ‘B-L-O-E-M-F-O-N-T-E-I-N, E-N J-Y?’

    ‘W-E-L-K-O-M’ says the barman.

    Sarel thinks for a second and then says;

    ‘N-O-U H-O-E-K-O-M P-R-A-A-T O-N-S F-O-K-K-E-N S-P-A-A-N-S A-S O-N-S A-L-T-W-E-E A-F-R-I-K-A-A-N-S I-S?’

  10. avatar Morné says:
    June 22nd, 2012 at 12:02 pm

    Reply to Welshbok die Brandwag @ 11:49 am:

    Hehehehe

  11. avatar Methos The French Stormer says:
    June 22nd, 2012 at 12:31 pm

    Whelsh/Morne

    HAHAHAHA.

    The crappy thing hearing and talking french all day is that you start chucking in french words into you afrikaans by accident. When the missus and I and the afrikaans guy at the companny talks we (he more than us) sometimes by accident use the french word – before correcting ourselves. Same thing happens with afrikaans into french. Instead of saying “et” I laat waai with “EN”. Tought the people here at the company where I worm how to count to 10 in afrikaans yesterday.

    Cheers

  12. avatar Deon says:
    June 22nd, 2012 at 1:53 pm

    Hehe, onthou nog toe ons valskerm gespring het, was die reel dat jy die 100ste sprong kaal moes doen. Vrouens was egter nie toegelaat om kaal te spring nie. Blykbaar sou dit soos ‘n air raid siren geklink het as hulle vryval. :-)

  13. avatar DavidS says:
    June 22nd, 2012 at 3:47 pm

    On a train from London to Manchester, an American was berating the Englishman sitting across from him in the compartment. “You English are too stuffy… You set yourselves apart too much. You think your stiff upper lips make you above the rest of us. Look at me…I’m ME. I have the Italian blood, French blood, a little Indian blood, and some Swedish blood. What do you say to that?” The Englishman replied. “Awfully sporting of your mother, old chap!!!!”

  14. avatar DavidS says:
    June 22nd, 2012 at 3:47 pm

    German chancellor Angela Merkel arrives at passport control in Paris. “Nationality?” Asks the immigration officer. “German” she replies. “Occupation?” “No, just here for a few days” is the reply.

  15. avatar DavidS says:
    June 22nd, 2012 at 4:06 pm

    Why did God give men penises?
    So we’d have at least one way to shut a woman up.

    How is a woman like a laxative?
    They both irritate the shit out of you.

    What’s worse than a male chauvinist pig?
    A woman that won’t do what she’s told.

    What’s it called when a woman is paralyzed from the waist down?
    Marriage.

    Why are hangovers better than women?
    Hangovers will go away.

    What are the small bumps around a woman’s’ nipples for?
    Its Braille for “suck here”.

    Why do most women pay more attention to their appearance than to improving their minds?
    Because most men are stupid, but few are blind.

    What does a 75 year old woman have between her breasts that a 25 year old doesn’t?
    Her navel.

    Why do men die before their wives?
    They want to.

    Did you hear about the guy who finally figured out women?
    He died laughing before he could tell anybody.

    What’s the difference between a woman with PMS and a pitbull?
    Lipstick.

    What’s a wife?
    An attachment you screw on the bed to get the housework done.

    Why do women have tits?
    So men will talk to them.

    Why do women close their eyes during sex?
    They can’t stand seeing a man have a good time.

    What’s six inches long and two inches wide and drives women wild?
    Money.

    What’s the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?
    You can unscrew a light bulb.

    Why do women have periods?
    They deserve them.

    Why did God make man first?
    He didn’t want a woman looking over his shoulder.

    If your wife keeps coming out of the kitchen to nag you, what have you done wrong?
    Made her chain too long.

    Why was the woman crossing the road?
    Who cares! What’s she doing out of the kitchen?

    How many women does it take to change a light bulb?
    None, they just sit there in the dark and bitch.

    What’s the difference between your wife and your job?
    After 5 years your job will still suck.

    Why can’t you trust woman?
    How can you trust something that bleeds for five days and doesn’t die.

  16. avatar DavidS says:
    June 22nd, 2012 at 4:10 pm

    On a Trans-Atlantic flight, a plane passes through a severe storm. The turbulence is awful, and things go from bad to worse when one wing is struck by lightning. One woman in particular loses it.

    Screaming, she stands up in the front of the plane. “I’m too young to die!” she wails.
    Then she yells, “Well, if I’m going to die, I want my last minutes on Earth to be memorable! I’ve had plenty of sex in my life, but no one has ever made me really feel like a woman! Well I’ve had it! Is there ANYONE on this plane who can make me feel like a WOMAN??”

    For a moment there is silence. Everyone has forgotten their own peril,and they all stare, riveted, at the desperate woman in the front of the plane.

    Then, a man stands up in the rear of the plane. “I can make you feel like a woman,” he says. He was gourgeous. Tall, built, with long, flowing black hair and jet black eyes, he starts to walk slowly up the aisle,unbuttoning his shirt one button at a time. No one moves. The woman is breathing heavily in anticipation as the strange man approaches. He removes his shirt. Muscles ripple across his chest as he reaches her, and extends the arm holding his shirt to the trembling woman,and whispers: “Iron

    _____________________________________________________________

    A man was in a doctors office and the doctor walked in and said, ok what do you need today sir. The man pulled down his pants and showed the doctor his beat up, bruised, and bleading penis. The doctor said, damn how did you do that? The man said well I live in a trailor, and every night I have noticed that the woman in the trailor next to mine at exactally 9:00pm, she moves her rug where there is a hole in the floor, she sticks a hot dog in the hole and masterbates with it. So one day I got an idea at 8:45pm I would go under her trailor and when she put the hot dog in the hole I would pull it out and stick my penis in the hole. So that night I did, and it was going great untill someone knocked on the door and she tried to kick it under the oven!

    _____________________________________________________________

    An old lady in a nursing home is wheeling up and down the halls in her wheelchair making sounds like she’s driving a car.
    As she’s going down the hall an old man jumps out of a room and says, “Excuse me ma’am but you were speeding.” “Can I see your driver’s license?”

    She digs around in her purse a little, pulls out a candy wrapper, and hands it to him. He looks it over, gives her a warning and sends her on her way.

    Up and down the halls she goes again. Again, the same old man jumps out of a room and says, “Excuse me ma’am but I saw you cross over the center line back there.” “Can I see your registration please?”

    She digs around in her purse a little, pulls out a store receipt and hands it to him. He looks it over, gives her another warning and sends her on her way.

    She zooms off again up and down the halls weaving all over. As she comes to the old man’s room again he jumps out. He’s stark naked and has an erection!

    The old lady in the wheel chair looks up and says, “Oh no-not the Breathalyzer again!”

    _____________________________________________________________

    Word started getting out about Snow White’s mirror and people really started getting the idea of wanting to inquire of the mirror themselves.
    Sleeping Beauty wanted to know if she really was the most beautiful of all.

    Tom Thumb wanted to make sure he really was the smallest person.

    Quasimodo wanted to know that he was the ugliest. So they each went before the mirror.

    As Sleeping Beauty was leaving she said “Oh, I really *am* the most beautiful of all!”

    As Tom Thumb left he was quite pleased to know that he is indeed the smallest of all.

    As Quasimodo left, he exclaimed “Who the heck is Julius Malema?”

    _____________________________________________________________

    A young girl walks in on her parents having sex. She asks,
    “Mum, what are you doing to Dad?”

    Mum replies, “I was just letting the air out of him – he’s too fat.”

    The little girl replies, “Why, the lady next door is just going to blow him up again.”

  17. avatar DavidS says:
    June 22nd, 2012 at 4:17 pm

    Q: Why do women have periods? A: Because they deserve them. Q: What is loud and obnoxious? A: A woman. Q: How do you blind a woman? A: You put a windshield in front of her. Q: Why is life like a penis? A: Women make it hard! Q: What book do women like the most? A: “Their husbands checkbook!” Q: What have women and condoms got in common? A: If they’re not on your dick they’re in your wallet. Q: How is a woman like an airplane? A: Both have cockpits. Q: Why do women like to have sex with the lights off? A: They can’t stand to see a man have a good time! Q: What’s 6 inches long, 2 inches wide and drives women wild? A: A $100 bill. Q: How many male chauvinists does it take to change a light bulb? A: None. Let her do the dishes in the dark. Q: What do toys and womens breasts have in common? A: They were both originally made for kids, but dad ends up playing with Q: What is love? A: The delusion that one woman differs from another. Monkeys and girls both are same. they fight only for Banana, Boys and rats are same they search only holes. Q: What do you call a girl with Pms and Esp? A: A bitch who thinks she knows everything. Q: What’s the difference between a woman and a refrigerator? A: A refrigerator doesn’t moan when you put meat in it. Q: What is the difference between your wife and your job? A: After five years your job still sucks. Q: Why did God create lesbians? A: So feminists couldn’t breed. Q: Why did God give men penises? A: So they’d have at least one way to shut a woman up. Q: Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning? A: Because they don’t have balls. Q. Why do women talk so much? A. Because they have two sets of lips. Q: What’s the difference between your bonus and your dick? You don’t have to beg a woman to blow your bonus. Q: Why is a female like a laxative? They both irritate the shit out of you. Q. What is it when a woman talks dirty to a man? A. $4.99 a minute. Q: What are the small bumps around a woman’s nipples for? A: It’s Braille for “suck here”. Q: Did you hear about the guy who finally figured out women? A: He died laughing before he could tell anybody. Q: Why are hurricanes normally named after women? A: When they come they’re wild and wet, but when they go they take your house and car with them. Q: How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, feminists can’t change anything. Q: Why did God invent the yeast infection? A: So women know what it’s like to live with an irritating cunt. Q: Why don’t women blink during foreplay? A: They don’t have time. Q: What’s the difference between a girlfriend and wife? A: 45 lbs. Q: What is a vagina? A: The box a penis comes in. Q: How is a woman like a road? A: Both have manholes. Q: How do you know when it’s time to get a new dishwasher? A: When the old one expects you to “do your share” Q: Why did God make women? A: You think he’s gonna wash the dishes? Q: What’s the difference between Jelly and Jam? A: You can’t jelly a dick down a woman’s throat Q: What does fucking a woman and cooking an egg in the microwave have in common? A: Both end with a loud, annoying sound and a gooey mess to clean up. Q: How do you turn a fox into an elephant? A: Marry It! Why do women fake orgasms ? Because they think men care. Q: What can a lifesaver do for a woman a man can’t? A: Cum in five different flavours. How do you make 5 pounds of fat look good? Put a nipple on it. Q: How many men does it take to open a beer? A: None, it should be opened when she brings it to you. Q: A man runs over his wife. Whose fault is it? A: The man, he shouldn’t be driving in the kitchen. Q: Why does a man like to see two women kiss each other? A: Two less mouths that are bitching. Q: Why can’t women drive? A: Because there’s no road between the kitchen and the bedroom Q: How can you tell if your wife is dead? A: The sex is the same but the dishes pile up. Q: If your wife keeps coming out of the kitchen to nag at you, what have you done wrong? A: Made her chain too long. Q: Why do women wear underwear? A: Because workplace health and safety staes ‘all manholes must be covered when not in use’! Q: How is a woman like a condom? A: Both spend more time in your wallet than on your dick. Q: Why does a bride smile when she walks up the aisle? A: She knows she’s given her last blow job. Q: How do you know when a woman is going to say something intelligent? A: When her first words are, “A man once told me…..” Q: How do you fix a woman’s watch? A: You don’t, there’s a clock on the oven. Q: Why hasn’t a female been to the moon ? A: Because it doesn’t need cleaning yet! Q: Why do women have smaller feet than men? A: So they can stand closer to the sink. Q: What’s worse than a male chauvinistic pig? A: A woman that won’t do what she’s told. Q: Why do women wear white on their wedding day? A: So they will match the stove and fridge! Q: What’s the difference between a bitch and a whore? A: A whore fucks everybody at the party, and a bitch fucks everybody at the party EXCEPT YOU. Q: What’s the difference between a Catholic wife and a Jewish wife? A: A Catholic wife has real orgasms and fake jewelry. Q: Have you heard about the new super-sensitive condoms? A: They hang around after the man leaves and talks to the woman. Q: Do you know why women fake orgasm? A: Because men fake foreplay. Q: What’s the difference between getting a divorce and getting circumcised? A: When you get a divorce, you get rid of the whole prick! Q: How is a woman like an airplane? A: Both have cockpits. Q: What’s the difference between a woman and a fridge? A: A fridge doesn’t fart when you pull your meat out. Q: Why can’t women read maps? A: Only the male mind can comprehend the concept of one inch equaling a mile. Q: Why are women like condoms? A: They spend 99% of their time in your wallet, and the other 1% on your dick. Q: Why did God make man first? A: He didn’t want a woman looking over his shoulder. Q: Why do women have such small feet? A: So they can stand closer to the oven. Q: How are fat girls and mopeds alike? A: They are fun to ride but you don’t want your friends to find out. Q: Why are there no female astronauts on the moon? A: Because it doesn’t need cleaning yet. Q: Why did God give women orgasms? A: So they’ve got something else to moan about! Q: Which is the odd one out: a woman, a microwave or a fridge? A: The microwave, the other two leak when they’re fucked. Q: What’s the difference between a woman and a coffin? A: You come in one and go in the other. Q: Whats the difference between PMS and Mad Cow Disease? A: One attacks the cow’s brain and sends it fucking mental, the other is an agricultural problem. Q: How do you know that beer contains female hormones? A: Drink two or three, and you cannot drive properly anymore and start talking bullshit. Q: What do toy railways and boobs have in common? A: Both are made for children but it’s the fathers who play with them most. Q: Why can’t you trust a woman? A: How can you trust something that bleeds for five days and doesn’t die? Q: Why do most men die before their wives? A: They want to! Q: What food diminishes a woman’s sex drive by 90%? A: Wedding Cake! Q: How are women and rocks alike? A: You skip the flat ones! Q: Why do women stop bleeding when entering menopause? A: Because they need all the blood for their varicose veins. Q: What is the difference between a cheap hooker and an elephant? A: One rolls on its back for peanuts and the other one lives in a zoo. Q: What s worse than a male chauvinist pig? A: A woman who won’t do as she’s told. Q: Why don’t women wear watches? A: There’s a clock on the stove. Q: How to you make a dish washer into a snow blower? A: Give the bitch a shovel Q: What is the difference between a Woman and a washing machine? A: The washing machine doesn’t follow you around for two weeks after you dump a load in it! Q: How can you tell when a women is having a bad day? A: She has her tampon behind her ear, and she can’t find her cigarette. Q: Why are wives like condoms? A: They both spend too much time in your wallet, and not enough time on the end of your dick. Q: Why do men die before their wives? A: They want to. Q: How many men does it take to fix a vacuum cleaner? A: Why the hell should we fix it? We don’t use the damn thing. Q: Why do women love orgasms? A: Because it gives them another reason to moan! Q: What is a wife? A: An attachment you screw on the bed to get the housework done. Q: How are women like parking spaces? A: The good ones are taken and the rest are handicapped. Q: Why do women have tits? A: So men will talk to them. Q: What’s the first thing a woman does after coming out of the abuse shelter? A: Cook dinner if she knows what’s good for her. Q: What’s the difference between a Woman with PMS and a Pit Bull? A: Lipstick Q: What do girls and camels have in common? A: They both have camel toes. Q: What does a woman put behind her ears to make herself more attractive? A: Her ankles. Q: Why do women close their eyes during sex? A: They can’t stand to see a man having a good time. Q: Why is our salary like a women’s period? A: It comes once in a month,lasts only for four or five days and if any month it does not come it means your fucked. Q: What do 3 million abused women do wrong every year? A: They don’t fucking listen. Q: What is the definition of “making love”? A: Something a woman does while a guy is fucking her. Q: Why did God create the orgasm? A: So women can moan even when they’re happy. Women are like orange juice cartons, It’s not the shape or size or even how sweet the juice is, It’s getting thoses fuckin flaps open Why did the woman cross the road? Who cares – what was she doing out of the kitchen anyway? What does the woman who just got out of an abusive relationship do? It better be the damn dishes!

  18. avatar DavidS says:
    June 22nd, 2012 at 4:20 pm

    “Have you ever kissed a rabbit between the ears?” pull your pockets inside out “Would you like to?” I have a big headache. I hear the best cure for headaches is sex. What say we go upstairs and work out a remedy. Lick your fingers and touch the girls clothes and say “how bout me and you get outa these wet clothes” That’s a nice shirt. Can I talk you out of it? I just checked my schedule and I can have you pregnant by Christmas. I’m like Domino’s Pizza. If I don’t cum in 30 minutes, the next one is free. I am conducting a field test of how many woman have pierced nipples. I just popped a Viagra. So, we’ve got about 30 minutes to get back to your place. Those are nice legs. do they come over easy?

  19. avatar DavidS says:
    June 22nd, 2012 at 4:27 pm

    If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put you between F and CK
    You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.
    Do you know what’d look good on you? Me. Are you free tonight or is it gonna cost me?
    I’d like to name a multiple orgasm after you.
    Seriously honey, sex is like Pizza. Even if it bad, it still pretty darn good.
    Cold out isn’t it? (staring at breasts)
    You know how they say skin is the largest organ? Not in my case.
    I’m bigger and better than the Titanic … only 200 woman went down on the Titanic
    I’m good at math, U+I=69
    Wanna come and see my Hard Drive? Babe, I promise you it ain’t 3.5 inches and it sure ain’t floppy.
    “Lets play house…you can be the door so I can slam you all I want!”
    You wanna see a donkey show?
    Hey baby, theres a party in your mouth and everybody’s coming
    Would you like to come to a party in my toolshed?
    How about you sit on my lap and we’ll see what pops up?
    Come here or my dick will start CUMING for you!
    Hi! I’m Craven Morehead are you?
    (A tall man to a short woman): “You’re perfect height for what I want.”
    Sex is a killer…want to die happy?
    hey baby, thats a nice shirt, can i talk you out of it!
    “I’m lookin’ for a girl like my mother. She knew her place. But in a good way.”
    “Yeah, I am married. So what can I do to get you to go out with me?”
    Baby I want to wear you like a pair of sun glasses, one leg over each ear.
    Do you handle chickens because I’ve heard your good with cocks Y
    ou look like a hooker I knew in Fresno.
    Did you sleep in a garbage can last night? Because you are looking trashy!
    Do you have rubbers at your house or should I pull out?
    Hi, how bout you grab my butt and i grab your ears!
    I’ll bet you 100 bucks that you couldn’t get all your clothes off in 30 seconds.
    I like the way your wearing that shirt, but honestly honey, it’d look better on the floor.
    Your boobs are big (so) can I touch? (no) God gave you a gift and wants you to share it with the world
    Gee, for a fat girl you sure don’t sweat much. Hey.
    My friends wanted me to come over here and ask you if they were fake. Can I sqeeze them to find out?
    Hey! tell your nipples to stop staring at my eyes.
    For a fat chick, you sure have small tits.
    I don’t know what you think of me, but I hope it’s X-rated
    The socks are having a party; can the pants come down?
    I was going to tell you a joke that’ll make your tits fall off. But it looks like somebody beat me to it.
    I’ve had quite a bit to drink, and you’re beginning to look pretty good.
    I wish you were a pig(she asks why?)cause then youd have six…(point at her chest and wait for slap)
    hey baby do you want some of these,she says these what you say these nuts.
    You’re ugly but you intrigue me.
    You have a nice body but it would look better in my bed with me in it. You’re good at mathematics, right?
    Would you say 69 was a perfect square?
    What’s a nice girl like you doing with a face like that?
    Screw me if I’m wrong but aren’t you Julia Roberts.
    I have 4 words for you “Hol I Day Inn”.
    If you think Chewbacca is hairy, wait till you see my Wookie.
    Your pants remind me of Vegas…. The kinda place I go to blow my Wad.
    I’ll give you a nickel if you tickle my pickel
    Lets play circus, first sit on my face i’ll guess ur weight and i’ll eat the difference

  20. avatar DavidS says:
    June 22nd, 2012 at 4:35 pm

    Q: Why are most Guidos named Tony? A: When they got on the boat to America they stamped To NY (Tony) on their foreheads.

    Q: Why are black men penises bigger than white men? A: Because as kids white men had toys to play with!

    Q: Why do Asian men like big tits and a tight ass? A: Because they’ve got big mouths and little dicks.

    Q: Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a retarded baby? A: They named him Sum Ting Wong.

    Q: Who was the most well known Jewish cook? A: Hitler!

    Q: Whats black and eats pussy? A: Cervical cancer!

    Q: What is white at the top and black at the bottom? A: Society!

    Q: What’s the difference between a Hispanic girlfriend and a Hispanic wife? A: 45 lbs.

    Q: What do you call a redneck bursting into flames? A: A Fire Cracker!

    Q: Why do Jewish men like to watch porno movies backwards? A: They like the part where the prostitute gives the money back.

    Q: What do you call a school bus full of Rednecks? A: Twinkie.

    Q: How does a Scotsman find a sheep in tall grass? A: Very satisfying.

    Q: Why doesn’t Mexico have a competitive Olympic team? A: Because everybody who can run, jump and swim are already in the U.S.

    Q: How did the Germans conquer Poland so fast? A: They marched in backwards and the Polish thought they were leaving.

    Q: What did the Native American say to the white woman when she tied his penis in a knot? A: “How Come?”

    Q: Why don’t they teach Driver’s Ed and Sex Education on the same day in Middle East? A: They don’t want to wear out the camel.

  21. avatar DavidS says:
    June 22nd, 2012 at 4:40 pm

    Q: How does every African joke start? A: By looking over your shoulder.

    Q: Whats the difference between a smart African and a unicorn? A: Nothing, they’re both fictional characters

    Q: Did you hear about the winner of the African beauty contest? A: Me neither.

    Q: Why wasn’t Jesus born in Africa? A: He couldn’t find 3 wise men or a virgin.

    source: http://www.jokes4us.com/

  22. avatar DavidS says:
    June 22nd, 2012 at 4:41 pm

    There were some Far East Rand squatters living across a river from each other, who feuded constantly. Johnson hated Clarence with a passion and never passed up a chance to throw rocks across the river at Clarence. This went on for years until one day the Metro came to build a bridge across that river. John was elated; he told his wife that finally he was going to get the chance to cross over and whip Clarence. He left the house and returned in a matter of minutes. His wife asked what was wrong, didn’t he intend to go over the bridge and whip Clarence? He replied that he never had really seen Clarence up close and didn’t realize his size until he started over the bridge and saw the sign: “CLEARANCE 8 FT 3 IN”

  23. avatar Boertjie says:
    June 22nd, 2012 at 4:45 pm

    ‘n Predikant van Clanwilliam se vrou vertel ons een aand hoe hulle in die droë Karoo op ‘n afgeleë plaas oorgeslaap het, met die tante wat oor en oor verduidelik hoe alles werk: waar die ekstra komberse is, hoe die vensters toemaak, hoe laat ontbyt is, ensovoorts, ensovoorts.

    Uiteindelik is hulle in die kamer met hulle lamp en sug verlig, want nou is hulle van haar ontslae. Net toe gaan die deur oop (julle weet mos hoe het hulle sonder slegte bedoelings daai deur net oopgemaak). Sy gee toe ‘n yslike koos aan en se plegtig:

    “Dominees, Mevrou, gebruik hom maar deur die nag. Hy vat dertien pisse.”

  24. avatar Boertjie says:
    June 22nd, 2012 at 5:02 pm

    In Namakwaland groei daar ‘n vetplantjie
    wat kinderpieletjies genoem word (regtig).

    Een jaar het dit vreeslik gereën en die ou
    bel sy ma in Namakwaland om te hooor hoe
    dit gaan.

    Sê sy: “My kjênt, dit het kom reent soos dit
    in jare nie gereent het nie. Tot die
    kinderpieletjies staan soos trille op die veld.”

  25. avatar DavidS says:
    June 22nd, 2012 at 5:43 pm

    BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Dertien pisse in die Koos!!!!

    Uitstekend!

  26. avatar Americano says:
    June 24th, 2012 at 1:54 pm

    Killer stuff DavidS.
    Thank you.
    I’ve noticed how most great jokes start with that “look over the shoulder”
    :D

  27. avatar DavidS says:
    June 24th, 2012 at 2:28 pm

    Reply to Americano @ 1:54 pm:

    :twisted:

Switch to our mobile site