Brendon’s wishlist for RW, 2013

December 5, 2012
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Regular contributor, Brendon Shields, gives us his wishlist for RuggaWorld 2013!

Ok so while boertjie is putting up his Christmas tree that he bought on a special 25 years ago as a combo deal together with a room divider at Morkels (you two year guarantee store- by the way did sex not sell in the 80’s ? Why have a 40 year old tannie sell furniture?) I want to deflect from the pest that is Christmas and rather look to 2013 through my Freestate Chrystal ball (a brandy with so little coke you can read the paper through it.)

Yet looking at how the Mayans fared in 2012 I’d rather not make predictions. So I leave you with a wish-list instead. Here goes my wish list for 2013 on Ruggaworld:

1)      Methos to end a post without saying ‘cheers’. Dude I hate goodbyes and every one of your posts has me standing on a platform waving off my loved ones. Stop it.

2)      Americano to win the American lotto on the same day that one Willie Le Roux gets selected for the Boks – so he can fly us all to Aspen to drink gluwein and cheer on his favourite son.

3)      DavidS to offer me some tickets to a few of those really cool games lined up by GLRU. Yes I will steal his slush puppy and ridicule him in front of his wife but maybe he will be kind and still hand over a coupla?

4)      JC’s Austrian warriors to simply motherfucking conquer all.

5)      Vetgesmeerde Blits and Biltongbek to find nicknames that does not sound like they are the countrywide support crew for Kurt Darren

6)      Bryce-in-Oz to finally end his support for the sharks in favour of the Stormers (funny how life in Oz makes one just that little more gay)

7)      Talk about gay, that Deon one to start contributing more often to this site and share loads more about the Oz way of coaching youngsters.

8)      Kevin (rack- attack) to like my sophomore album

9)      Morne to contribute tonnes more to Rapport and finally getting his break in Sunday Times, despite the fact that he knows fuckall about rugby.

10)   Guys like OO, Murph and Ill Postino to join us much more often

And finally, may the Cheetahs not only entertain, but be successful and in the process save this game. May Cheeky discover a drink called loneliness that’s better than drinking alone and for heavens sake, may Jean De Villiers learn to pass a fucking rugby ball.

I greet you with lots of rugby love and the season’s greetings,

The year of the Cheetah.

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41 Comments

  1. avatar JT_BOKBEFOK! says:
    December 5th, 2012 at 11:49 am

    #4 – hoor hoor!

    2012 I tried a more structured approach and that worked for a few games but we could not build on it – next year I will go for a different approach, a more heads up fun approach (never forget why we amateurs play the game).

    Will focus on team cohesion more than anything else in 2013, individual talented players are useless if they do not play as a team. A team of average players should beat a team of individual stars most of the time…

    Will keep you updated.
    PS: wish to Brendan – cheer up, life is too short to be grumpy all the time ;-)

  2. avatar biltongbek says:
    December 5th, 2012 at 12:13 pm

    Kurt Darren!!!!:Rule 9:

    You are thinking too laterally here Brendon. When I picked my name Kurt Darren was not even close to being on my mind.

    I have two vices in life.

    Biltong – want dit is fokken lekker
    Bek – want ek het n’ opinie vir als.

    anyhow, I fully agree Jean de Villiers really needs to learn to paas the ball, but first he must WANT to pass the ball. :bangheadt:

  3. avatar Morné says:
    December 5th, 2012 at 12:23 pm

    It might not be Sunday Times, but you might see something from me in the next issue of Sports Illustrated.

  4. avatar Boertjie says:
    December 5th, 2012 at 12:34 pm

    Reply to Morné @ 12:23 pm:

    Pity it will be the last issue of SI.
    True, no rumour. Hope you get paid.
    Buy it and keep it as a memento.

    Afrikaans copy folded long ago. Was a
    very silly venture to start with.

  5. avatar Boertjie says:
    December 5th, 2012 at 12:35 pm

    BTW good write by Brendon.

  6. avatar The Year of the Cheetah says:
    December 5th, 2012 at 12:36 pm

    Reply to Morné @ 12:23 pm:

    please tell me you are not standing in jocks on page 3?

  7. avatar Morné says:
    December 5th, 2012 at 12:37 pm

    Reply to Boertjie @ 12:34 pm:

    Ja will keep it as a memento. Such a pity they will close shop.

    Reply to The Year of the Cheetah @ 12:36 pm:

    No I actually had to write something, you will like it, it is about transformation and racism.

  8. avatar Ollie says:
    December 5th, 2012 at 12:46 pm

    Reply to JT_BOKBEFOK! @ 11:49 am:

    JT, this year we concentrated on extensively on conditioning and the basics. It has been a brilliant season so far, 8 games, 8 wins. 363 points for and 28 against. Try it

  9. avatar Ollie says:
    December 5th, 2012 at 12:51 pm

    Reply to Morné @ 12:37 pm:

    Nice one Morné, hopefully it leads to more articles.

    Brendon, not sure if I should be happy to not be on your list or not :lol:

  10. avatar JT_BOKBEFOK! says:
    December 5th, 2012 at 1:01 pm

    Reply to Ollie @ 12:46 pm:

    we are very fit – basics could be better (always). Problem seems to be in the “team” – players have split into cliques. :roll:

  11. avatar The Year of the Cheetah says:
    December 5th, 2012 at 1:03 pm

    Reply to Ollie @ 12:51 pm:

    i apologize profusely. missed a couple others as well

    :Ollie:

  12. avatar The Year of the Cheetah says:
    December 5th, 2012 at 1:08 pm

    Guys what do you think about this article:

    http://www.thoughtleader.co.za/readerblog/2012/12/03/why-i-think-i-dont-have-more-black-friends/

  13. avatar Ollie says:
    December 5th, 2012 at 1:21 pm

    Reply to JT_BOKBEFOK! @ 1:01 pm:

    Ow, that’s a killer, especially if there is some friction.

    Reply to The Year of the Cheetah @ 1:03 pm:

    No probs :pdv:

  14. avatar The Year of the Cheetah says:
    December 5th, 2012 at 1:25 pm

    why dont we have an emoticon of Heyneke Meyer in his Ox wagon travelling over the Jukskei?

  15. avatar JT_BOKBEFOK! says:
    December 5th, 2012 at 1:36 pm

    Reply to The Year of the Cheetah @ 1:25 pm:

    get one shouting to a walkie-talkie

  16. avatar Ollie says:
    December 5th, 2012 at 2:44 pm

    Reply to JT_BOKBEFOK! @ 1:36 pm:

    :lol:

  17. avatar Boertjie says:
    December 5th, 2012 at 3:41 pm

    Reply to The Year of the Cheetah @ 1:08 pm:

    Excellent piece, good comments.
    I particularly like this one:

    “Birds of a feather fly and roost together. They do not fly with Bats. They would die in deep caves without branches to roost.”

  18. avatar Duiwel says:
    December 5th, 2012 at 5:37 pm

    Springbokke with basic ball skills

  19. avatar Mug Punters Organisation of South Africa says:
    December 6th, 2012 at 4:20 am

    Reply to The Year of the Cheetah @ 1:25 pm: Like your article mate, good one for putting your neck on the line. Tofolux is onto you booi.

    I hope to catch one of your gigs when I am back in gods country next year August. Look out for Gypsy Jazz band called Manouche and sax player Buddy Wells.

    In 2013(if we get there) wish to see McCaw get the deserved Red card, Bok rugby to come out of the dark ages, Bryce in OZ to stop been a soft aussie and my girlfriend who does not make me think WTF planet are you from!!!!

    Oh ja and some one to replace Paul True.

    Thanks for an awesome blog guys, all of you including Bryce :soek:
    Have a great end of world next week.

  20. avatar Aldo says:
    December 6th, 2012 at 5:35 am

    We’ve got more than a week, dont we? World only ends on the 21st. We’ve got lots of time! Everybody enjoy the festive season and may 2013 be the year of the Bok.

  21. avatar biltongbek says:
    December 6th, 2012 at 6:56 am

    How about asking for an unbeaten year for the Boks?

    Or is that too much too ask.

  22. avatar Vetgesmeerde Blits says:
    December 6th, 2012 at 7:40 am

    Hehehe, absolutely brilliant!

    Kurt Darren se moer!

  23. avatar Aldo says:
    December 6th, 2012 at 8:03 am

    When last has anyone heard of cosa? Ive tried calling him a couple of times these last 2 months, but he seems to have changed his number or something.

  24. avatar DavidS says:
    December 6th, 2012 at 9:27 am

    Showing off to three girls by making them do Brazilian Jiu Jitsu grappling warmup drills with me…

    Then my 9 year old challenges me to do her gymnastics warmups with her and I get pwned…

    I can’t split… won’t ever be able to either…

    Feel like I’m getting old

  25. avatar biltongbek says:
    December 6th, 2012 at 9:31 am

    Reply to DavidS @ 9:27 am: Time to change you name to Outoppie. :whistling:

  26. avatar DavidS says:
    December 6th, 2012 at 9:40 am

    Wishlist 2013

    1. Hope the Mayans got it wrong… 16 days till we find out

    2. Zuma gets retrenched and his pension taken away and he has to take care of thirteen spoiled women and 30 spoiled brat kids for the remainder of his life on the salary of a Nkandla farm labourer.

    3. Bekke stops saying Hak Hak Heyneke is kak every time the Boks play

    4. Shields stops annoying me

    5. Willie Le Roux has a sizzling season and gets selected to the Boks and Sarel Pretorius has a smokin’ season for the Cheetahs too and both get Bok call ups.

    6. I get to build a new good relationship with GLRU PRO Tarryn Steenkamp like I had with her predecessor Krystle Geach.

    7. The Boks are unbeaten at the end of the season.

    8. The All Blacks have to drop Richie McCaw because “refs are onto him and he is a liability” earning a Bakkies Botha/Butch James like rep from refs.

    9. An All Backs player gets a red card on a game in SA and they take a 50 point pounding – it is not right that England has the record for the biggest points margin score against the f***kers

    10. Duiwel gets a sense of happiness that he brings to RW instead of always being unhappy with everything except Sharks wins… which are even then bitterly expressed…

    11. Morne – yeah I agree – gets a break in journalism.

    12. The Stormers win S15 playing a 10 man game.

    13. The Spears are “happy to have conceded less than 50 because that is progress” in one game as they crash rapidly back into the Eastern Cape’s backwater after a disastrous S15 debut, causing Cheeky to say “I guess entitlement has nothing to do with it” and leading him “just give up” on rugby in the Eastern Cape.

    14. The Lions announce their return to the big time with two 50 point plus wins in the promotion relegation matches against the Spears.

  27. avatar DavidS says:
    December 6th, 2012 at 9:42 am

    Reply to biltongbek @ 9:31 am:

    Want to learn what happens when one takes an armbar too far?

    :P

  28. avatar biltongbek says:
    December 6th, 2012 at 9:49 am

    OK, my wishlist.

    1. Bulls supporters learn how to take the good with the bad, not everyone is out to get you.
    2. cheethas get a Philanthropist who puts a boatload of money into them so they can retain their stars and become a force in super rugby.
    3. SARU wakes up and smells the roses.
    4. We have liitle to no injuries and can at last wack the All blacks with our first choice players.
    5. Meyer gets his backline firing
    6. Zane Kirchner and Jean de Villiers gets offered big contracts by Rugby League in australia and chooses never to return to Rugby Union.
    7. Politicians decide that they have no place in sport in SA.
    8. My son has no injuries next year and goes from strength to strength playing hooker, not prop.
    9. Everyone at RT starts listening to my wise words and and believe me when I tell them “stuff”

  29. avatar biltongbek says:
    December 6th, 2012 at 9:52 am

    Reply to DavidS @ 9:42 am: yes please. :Morne:

  30. avatar Boertjie says:
    December 6th, 2012 at 11:17 am

    Reply to DavidS @ 9:40 am:

    Ek het lank en hard gedink, kan nie aan
    ‘n beter wens dink as jou #13 nie.

    Tweede prys sal wees as HM nie vir Spies kies nie.

  31. avatar DavidS says:
    December 6th, 2012 at 11:41 am

    Lol!

    Eintlik is my signature move die kimura, so cool.

  32. avatar JT_BOKBEFOK! says:
    December 6th, 2012 at 11:44 am

    My wish list:
    1. Ollie’s team and mine are champions at the end of the season and we both have to go pro ;-)
    2. Bokke finish 2013 as #1 and stay there until after 2015 RWC.
    3. Duiwel catches a fish and is happy again :soek: and Shields is content with a bok performance for once…
    4.Spies comes back a different person – a mean mofo like Bakkies and tackles everything that move stukkend! (he will be back whether we like or not)
    5. a Saffa team wins the S15 by beating another in the semi and final…
    6. 4N ends up with 1. SA, 2. Arg…
    7. Italy win the 6N
    8. a shit load of snow this winter :support:

  33. avatar biltongbek says:
    December 6th, 2012 at 11:51 am

    Reply to JT_BOKBEFOK! @ 11:44 am: There will probably be a lot of snow this winter. :bangheadt:

  34. avatar Morné says:
    December 6th, 2012 at 12:11 pm

    Reply to JT_BOKBEFOK! @ 11:44 am:

    As unpredictable as the weather is, I reckon snow is you best option.

  35. avatar Ollie says:
    December 6th, 2012 at 12:32 pm

    I’ve just got a short list:

    1. JT’s number 1 happens
    2. SARU and the presidents council actually do everything in the interest of rugby in SA for a change
    3. All SA S15 teams do well next season, and Kings turn into an important feeder for the Boks.
    4. The boks snot all and sundry

  36. avatar Boertjie says:
    December 6th, 2012 at 1:50 pm

    Well, top my wishlist is actually
    a return of the old Brannasnscht.

    But it will have to snow in hell first.

  37. avatar JT_BOKBEFOK! says:
    December 6th, 2012 at 2:43 pm

    Reply to Boertjie @ 1:50 pm:

    it is snowing in heaven at the moment ;-)

  38. avatar Americano says:
    December 6th, 2012 at 9:30 pm

    Oh I agree with all this. Don’t know what that wine is but if it won’t make me blind – I’m in.

    Super Pretorious….that’s a name that hasn’t been around for a while.
    I think many just wrote him off after that ghoulish Michael Foley got his hands on him. I think he’s now coaching the Force?
    Force Mananagement think they might get a dead-cat bounce out of that creeper. I think they’ll get a Seinfeld episode instead.

  39. avatar Duiwel says:
    December 8th, 2012 at 7:34 pm

    Oom D ,
    I say it as I see it
    Not how I dream to see it
    Or wish to see it
    Or try not to see it
    Or make it better than I see it
    But see it for what it is.
    Another bok side without basic skills
    Passing is a myth
    Especially at centre
    Holding on to the pill is more luck
    Than skill
    Hitting the rucks
    Offloading in the tackle
    Supporting runners who
    God forbid can actually catch the fkn ball
    without spilling at pace.
    Sidestep and dummy is forgotten
    Folklore as skill
    A proper kicker as opposed to fkn about
    And skop-net-weg broer
    And then fkn that up.
    A proper kicking coach
    A backlineplayer with vision
    A fly half that can catch,kick and pass
    A scrum half that doesn’t pass high
    Or kicks like a twat
    Loose forwards at the breakdown
    Or hitting the rucks as opposed to
    Standing at fly half and centre
    A fly half that can tackle.

    Players paid by performance
    Players that talk less on the field
    And off it
    Instead letting their skill and professionalism talk

    Or I can gaan aan about some palookas
    That tackle and kick away
    and call them Springbokke
    Just to make you happy :mrgreen:

  40. avatar Boertjie says:
    December 8th, 2012 at 7:43 pm

    Reply to Duiwel @ 7:34 pm:

    :muahaha:

  41. avatar Duiwel says:
    December 9th, 2012 at 12:47 am

    :twisted:

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