I have read previews, reviews and in depth analysis this week on the up coming clash between our beloved Boks and the All Blacks.
It seems everyone and his dog has an opinion and for the most part, everyone feels the Boks are in for a hiding. I have a gut feel that it will be close, but as pointed out by Bekke, it might just be the curry I ate. Which is annoying, as I love curry almost as much as the excitement a clash between these two Titans bring.
A long time ago, a member of this site, used to inquire from the Oracle about what the match would bring. This must’ve been Neo’s oracle in the Matrix, as she was almost always on song. So in honor of this and because I don’t have the Oracle’s mobile number (yes, my phone was repossessed by a man in a hoodie, so I’ve lost all my numbers), I thought I’d ask my dog.
So a little bit about my dog. Oreo is a 2 year old black Labrador, with a white spot on his chin. Being a black dog it came to no surprise to me, that while supporting the Boks with a SAB Miller branded fuzzy drink, he confessed to me of an up and coming Victory for the All Blacks.
“Master he said (yes I am a master), I have a feeling the Boks are going to lose. Why Oreo?”, was my response. “Master, I dug up my rose tree of knowledge this afternoon”, which led to a couple of pg rated words and abuse being flung at him. As I calmed down, he continued, “The rose tree has a long history of giving us dogs supernatural knowledge, which is why I always dig it up.
The tree revealed to me, that the Boks are suffering from post colonialist depression. This confuses them master”. Now I’m no liberal, but began to ponder on this as he continued.
“In colonial days, the Boerboele were big, and us black dogs were both loved and feared, as they would rub our ears and talk about the “swart gevaar”. This is what confuses the Boks. You know master, you guys were always bigger than everyone, using that to your advantage, but with the age of gyms and conditioning, the other team quickly grew stronger and caught up.
What could a Bok do to counter this, well they embraced the challenge and laid down the law, that the “swart gevaar” now comes from NZ and no longer in our own borders. You realised that to counter the “swart gevaar” you need to embrace your own “swart gevaar”.
The problem is, that it leads to the Boerboele in the team, to not know how to play under a general called Jantjies the Bulldog. He leads you to the left, but your natural instinct is to go straight. He shows you a step and you counter it with a huff and puff. This is your problem.”
As I sat mesmerized at the world as my dog sees it, he surprised me once more. “Fear not oh great and noble master, I have asked the tree how the match will play out. The wise tree tells me that the Boerboele in the Bok team will muster all they have and attack the land of the “swart gevaar” with great excitement.
A couple of weeks of getting used to General Jantjies the Bulldog has taught them a lot. They will look like a transformed team. They will run the All Blacks close. So close that you will be shouting at the top of your lungs, in the 75th min, as the Boks build up 20 phases to reach the goal line of the All Blacks.
At that point, the All Blacks will looked tired and ready to give up, but hang on to a small 3 point lead. As you sense the weakening of them, you will go wide, where a 5-3 overlap awaits, what you won’t foresee is the shadow of the great captain of yesteryear, Richie McPaw the Terrier, in the form of Ardie Savea the Sheppard of rucks, intercepting the ball and running in for a ninety meter try. This will close of a close game, but you will still lose by 10.”
So there you have it guys. My Labrador is an All Black fan, and I have a rose tree to replant this weekend. Hope you all enjoy the match and let’s all get kitted out in Green, to show support for the Boks!